Kids are nothing if they're not honest. However, my son can also be a kiss up. I've taught him well. Most of the time. Today I was sitting down and working when you asked the question I've titled this blog.
"I thought you were already smart?" "I thought so, too!" "Than why are you doing that?" Ah, a teachable moment in parenting. The background to that story is that I was writing down my vocabulary words for the day and their definitions. I have decided that since my vocabulary has always been detrimental to my personage (hey, I'm trying), I need to put myself to the test. I need to improve. It is time to grow. I love education. I love educating myself. I love seeing the "Ah-ha" moment that children get when the light goes off inside that brain of theirs. There is something so empowering when you have discovered just how smart you are. Acing a test is a great feeling. Always. The deep problem I see is that we have moved our world from a stage where everyday was increasing knowledge to just getting enough to pass the test and move on. No, this isn't a discussion on public schools and teaching to the test. And if you are not a teacher with something to say about it, go in and walk in their shoes for a week. Then, and only then, will we talk. Think about all the greats in all genres. Who are considered the best artists, musicians, writers, philosophers? Who is considered the best architect? Now think about where they came from. Think about the schooling they encountered. Many of the greatest of greats in their fields found a passion and pursued it with vigor. I love C.S. Lewis. It isn't the Narnia series that gets me, it actually isn't a big read for me. I love his religious pieces, fiction and non alike. He challenges me in my thinking and walk with God like few others have. He forces me to examine myself on a variety of levels. I am now reading a compilation of his diary from the 1920's. It is simply his day to day tasks. He walked to town to buy meats. He ordered his Greek History notes. He sent a poem to a newspaper. There is nothing exciting about this diary. However, it has shown me just how dedicated he was to his craft as well as his education. Right now I'm in the middle of a program for certification in weight loss management. Yes, another certification to add to my resume in the fitness professional realm. When it comes to these programs, I usually test very well. I know the material because I am always involved in my continual education for my fitness world. Even still, I watch each video, listen to each podcast, and read each document, book, article. I soak up every ounce of information I can, because I love it. I love learning. I love that feeling that I am improving myself, and therefore can improve the lives of others around me. I implement so much of what I've learned through my various certifications with my clients, family, and friends. How rewarding! This past Sunday, however, I made the decision that I needed more education. Now I cannot afford to get another degree, but I can find ways to better myself, and hopefully better those around me. That was when I made the decision to increase my vocabulary by studying five words a day. At the moment I am using the cards from the S.A.T. prep book I have for tutoring my high schoolers. I intent to move on to the dictionary shortly. Please hold me accountable to that! As a writer, I made the decision last year to read more. Each day I read fiction and non-fiction to increase my abilities in writing within these fields. Whether it has paid off or not, I can never be sure. However, once I have checked these readings off my to-do list I typically consider them accomplished. Lately, I have longed for the time to sit and read more. So if my chores are done, and family is cared for, you'll find a book in my hand. As sweet Caleb assumed that I was smart and didn't need to continue learning, I was well pleased to inform him that education never stops. There is always something to learn. There is always a new theory, words unknown, and fields of study untouched by yourself. I know he loves to learn. I am so grateful for that, and I hope that I can convey the importance of continual education, even if doesn't have a grade attached to it. May I be a better wife, mother, teacher, trainer, tutor, friend, sister, daughter, human for continuing to educate myself. I encourage you to join me in the quest for continual knowledge. "If knowledge is power and power corrupts, is knowledge corrupt?"
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This morning I went for a run and found myself running through the fog. It seems there is a cloud on the ground every morning that I need to run. Let me just say this. It. Is. Not. Fun. It brings a coolness and wet droplets that I don't want on my. My shoes become wet from the outside in. It's far more difficult to breathe. Overall the experience sucks.
So as I'm trudging through my 5:30 run (yes, I was running at 5:30 am on a Saturday and it added to my grumpiness) I'm trying to be positive. I begin to pray, "God, would you please get this cloud off of me? Can we clear the fog so I can just have a decent Saturday run?" I continue on and it feels all the thicker. However, I turn down one street and above me I can see a star. Just one. Through all the fog, it was clear just in front of me so that I could see that one beautiful star shining ever brightly. The majesty of it all kind of hit me from behind. My mind changed from agitation to thankfulness. I began thanking God for the day. He woke me up before the alarm. I had a full night's sleep for the first time in over a week. My legs are working. My breathing is going. And beyond the cloud, the stars are still shining. For a brief moment I was able to see a handful of stars to the left of the main one. They were clouded by the fog, and much dimmer to my eye, but they were still shining. I began looking further up above me - which is not the best thing to do while running, you kinda need to see what's in front of you. But I had to. I had to look to see if the fog had cleared anywhere else. Were stars shining above me or behind me? I turned my head to the side at the end of the street. It looked as if the cloud was in a glass wall. Just flat up the side in line with me. God wouldn't lift the cloud, but he parted it enough to see the stars above are still there. My run continued on and the clouds moved in heavier and that one star that shone so bright was now being covered slowly. However, my mind was better and here I was thinking about how much we all care about something so petty. We know we're selfish creatures, and most of us try to live past it, but this morning showed me a beautiful picture of how we think and act. There are many phrases out there made by smarter, better writers than I. But I'll throw my hat in the ring and say this - Sometimes we cannot see the stars, because we're too busy staring through the fog. I know it doesn't have that flow that others do, but I think it gets the point across. How often are we so overwhelmed by the fog around us that we forget about everything else in the world, nay, in the universe? I say it all too often, we are just a blip on the radar of eternity. We focus so much on our little situations and lose sight of the beauty and wonder around us. It isn't right. We deprive ourselves. We forget. Boy, do we forget. I urge you, reader, do not forget. Do not forget that even though the fog has settled in around you, there is so much more outside of you to see. You may not always be able to see it. It may be dimmer than we're used to. And sometimes we are blessed with just a moment of relief. No matter what, the stars are still shining brightly beyond the fog, whether we see them or not. What will you see through the fog? Ya know, I have a bunch of posts sitting in my drafts area waiting for me to finish them and press the publish button. I hope this one will make it to the end. You see, I have been troubled by the mindset of some of my readers. Apparently this blog is viewed as just some way for me to blow off some steam. Ouch. That has never been my intention.
You see, about a year ago a young woman approached me and told me I should begin a blog. Because I have such a variety of topics that I could write about, she thought me a Jill-of-all-trades in the helping others world. She continued to press me and forced me to think. Who am I to write a blog that keeps up with the different aspects of my life so that I can share with others? That's right. This blog was created as a way to help people. I have found many to say that they agree with what I write, or share the same sentiments. A few have voiced that they had not thought of something in that light. So on. But there are some who read this and seem to think that I am seeking advice while I believe I am giving the advice. I go back through and reread former posts hoping to see where they come from and why they think I am searching for support as I am simply trying to lend it myself. Truth of it is, I often water down what I truly want to say. I believe this is where the confusion comes in. When I reign in my voice hoping that the words I've written will cause one to think, it is perceived as me being the one needing the reflection. Don't get me wrong, we all need reflection. Heck, that's how these pieces are written in the first place. You see, it is through my reflection, my prayer, my walk through life, that all these pieces come to be. It's the only way I can answer the question I asked myself for weeks while this friend pushed me into blogging. Who am I to write it all down? I am growing daily in becoming the writing I hope to be. However, in my continual pursuit of fiction, there is a strong pull on my heart for honesty. When I self published "A Time to Walk," it was because I was following the leading of God that I needed to speak the truth. Over the last two years God has repeated the same words to me - speak, speak truth, SPEAK! That is what this blog is about. This blog wasn't designed for me to blow off steam of the frustrations of life, but to speak truth through those frustrations. How do we get out of this mess? Why did we get in this mess? What does God say about the mess. Perhaps that is some of the wavering in thoughts. If I am writing in hopes of speaking truth, and readers don't know the Truth, it's difficult to comprehend. If this may be you, I encourage you to ask questions. Let's create a dialogue on these topics that rub you the wrong way, or seem lofty. I apologize for not writing clearly. I apologize if I skirt around the truth and try to pull back. My intentions are for you to think about, chew on it, process it, and possibly apply it, depending on our topic of the day. I have those posts that are waiting to be seen, but I fear that posting them before this is simply going to lose people all over again. Readers, though I joke that I only have three I know it is more of you, thank you for taking the time to read what I write. Thank you for being patient with me as I work on my craft of writing. Forgive me for confusion or backing off the full truth. My prayer is that each post I write is used for you as much as it has been used for me. Even the fun fluff pieces show the joy of the Lord and I hope you all can laugh with me in those. Thank you, dears, for the time you take to read these words. I hope to bring you some truth, and finish a piece focused on peace. |
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May 2023
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