Every morning I try my best to get the kids at the kitchen counter for a healthy breakfast and Bible study. It's a great way to get my children focused and ready for the day. My children have a book that is diving in to some of the deeper concepts within the Bible. We also have passages that go along with what they're discussing. After all the deep and mind blowing work, we hit a little Veggie Tales Day by Day Bible study for AJ, though Caleb seems to enjoy them.
Sometimes I need to deviate from the books to hit the kids right where they need it. Last week, my children made me feel like a worthless sack of you know what. I couldn't understand half of it. The attitudes. The word vomit. I could not figure out why they were acting like the world suddenly stopped for them. It was insanity. This week was better. We have worked on attitude, speech, and so much else. This morning I was trying to figure out exactly what to say as I deviated from the books. Making that breakfast in the picture above got my mind right. Our words can be as sweet as blueberries on a hot summer day. They can be smooth as yogurt; soothing to the soul. Our words can be freshly picked peaches. I gave this idea to the children as I walked over to the refrigerator where I knew a bit of "too old" macaroni and cheese was residing. I pulled out the mac 'n cheese, opened the container, and placed it between the two kids while they took a bite of breakfast. "Smell this. Stick your face in there and sniff!" They each did. You can imagine the results. "Ugh! Yuck!" "Why did we have to smell this?!" Yes, why? Well, our words can also be like old mac 'n cheese hanging out in the fridge for too long. I continued to teach them about how their words affected other people. Both macaroni and cheese and a yogurt parfait are good for you. They have good qualities to them. They will give you energy and make you strong. But what happens when either of them has sat around for too long? It gets a little nasty. When you speak kindly, lovingly, and honestly with people it can taste like fresh strawberries. But angry, harsh words said in the moment or whiny, selfish words can taste like molding mac 'n cheese. After the quick rundown, I turned to each one and asked some questions. We discussed how they would each feel if the other person said words of fresh yogurt parfait or moldy mac 'n cheese. We looked at each other in understanding that last week, Mom ate a lot of moldy food. And when I ate all that moldy food, it made me sick. I couldn't stand to be around them because I knew I would be given moldy food, and then my reaction would be in sickness. The final challenge has been pointing out words of freshness versus words of mold. Throughout the day we have been calling each other out. I have heard them say to one another, "Thank you for the fresh strawberries!" And similar phrases. When we hear something that feeds the soul with sweetness, it helps to let them know. They will grow to be adults that speak kindly to the world around them instead of spewing vileness. And when they are rude, I have told them, "That's some nasty mac 'n cheese." They get it. They know that their words can be viewed in two ways. They are learning that their words create a reaction in other people. It's a simple concept. Yes. It was done for my children. I'd love for those of you with young ones to do something similar. We need to teach our children just how much words matter. "For out of the heart, the mouth speaks."
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Growing up, I loved watching "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." I'm not sure what it was, the songs, the candy, the fact that my brother was terrified of OompaLoompas. Whatever the reason, I enjoyed the movie. One of my favorite parts is the spoiled little snot (which one?) that decides she wants the golden egg. Bianca decides that she wants a goose that will lay her the golden egg and dramatizes a beautiful dance to prove her desire of that goose. "I want it, and I want it nooooowwwwww." Aww, poor Biance got dropped down the chute to the trash. "She was a bad egg," Willy Wonka tells us. Indeed she was.
I have been marveled at by a few who have learned of my budgeting. I feed a family of four on $320 a month. Now, that extra $20 just came into being in our March budget, and we've kept it. I've had to adjust in other places, but it works for now. People can't seem to figure out how in the world I can feed all four of us on such a small budget, and I'm not a coupon master. So, what do I do? I cook meals that require just one chicken breast split between us. I use stores like BJ's and Wal-Mart, using what coupons I can, to get the most bang for my buck. I know there are stores I could go to that would be slightly cheaper for certain items, but with my schedule, it makes it harder to drive a couple towns over. Here's the big issue we are facing: Americans in general want the goose with the golden eggs. We want it, and we want it now. We spend our money just as quickly as we make it. This country has created generations of self entitled people who believe that they should get everything they want just because they want it. Even as a child I loved when Bianca fell down the chute because I couldn't stand her snobby butt. I learned from a young age that we work for what we want. BUT we must first work for what we need before we deal with the wants. I spent years "budgeting" and scraping and sacrificing only to come up short each month. I didn't do a budget correctly, for one. Then after all my sacrificing I would get upset that things didn't work out well and you know what I would do? BLOW IT ALL! I would do something stupid, or buy something fun. I just couldn't handle the stress. Now, I have a correct budget. I still skimp on things and make sacrifices, but we live within our means, and we budget for fun stuff so we don't get too stressed out. I cannot get over how selfish and entitled so many people are. I can't get past the fact that people are not willing to work. I'm not getting into welfare issues and everything else. I mean the people that have regular jobs, but choose to not take the extra hours when they are offered, and then complain they don't have any money. I have had far too many encounters with people that are upset that they don't have money, but then purchase items that aren't even close to a need within their household. We have been in that place of just not having money, and we didn't buy the unnecessary. Even now, I no longer say, "We don't have any money." I say, "We don't have money for that." What a difference that is. What freedom that is. We have money. It isn't a lot, but it's enough. And each penny has a place where it belongs. And if there isn't enough money in that spot, than we don't have money for that. We can't get the ground turkey or the name brand bread. (I miss that bread so much.) We have what we have. We make simple sacrifices now, so that we won't have to later. We work ourselves to the bone, so that we won't have to LATER. That's the key. It's all about the later. Bianca yells, "I want it and I want it NOW!" That's where everything comes from. We want things now. I want to lose weight. I workout for a week. Where are my results?! I should be thinner. I should weigh less. I should have abs. NOW! People, we need to look for the later as well. I'm all about the fact that we can't take it with us when we go, but don't we want to leave something for our kids? Don't we want to teach our children that hard work pays off? And shouldn't our kids learn that we don't need these things right now, we want them now, but we may not even care about them later. Time is a beautiful thing. We use it up so quickly, and in vain. We long for the days of sitting on the porch sipping sweet tea and not doing anything. Yet, we use the time we have poorly. We waste it on television, drinking, excursions to dives, instead of diving in the sea, reading a great novel, spending time with the ones we love. Those things we seem to push off for later, but those are the things we need now. Those things remind us of why we sacrifice the little things, or even the bigger things, for what we truly want later. Some days we have leftovers, other days the family cleans their plates, pots, and pans. We will go without some things, but we have everything we need. I wish, I desire, I hope for others to live a life that will lead to fulfillment and enjoyment for all of life, not just right now. Bye, Bianca. You're a bad egg. My son has been asking for a garden for quite some time. I, the owner of the black thumb, was not opposed but hesitant. He is a child after all. And he can often forget to take care of simple things. For example, I created a routine a few years ago to get him ready for school that when he gets going, he dresses, brushes his hair, and brushes his teeth. That isn't too difficult. However, there has been more than one occasion when he has sat at the kitchen counter for breakfast without brushing hair or teeth. Sometimes it is one without the other. Yeah, he's a kid. The responsibility of a garden scares me because I will be the one to care for it, and then kill it. That's too much pressure.
However, with much consideration, we decided to allow him his garden. The first week of April, my husband and son put together a cheater's version of a raised bed. On one side, in a four foot by four foot space, he planted herbs. Herbs in lines. Herbs for years to come! On the other side came the vegetables. Cucumbers, sweet potatoes, onions, tomatoes, green beans, and strawberries. Whew, that's a lot of plants! Some he chose to by the beginner plants already growing. Others, like the herbs, he chose seeds. Every morning I check his garden. Every afternoon I return. In the evening I check on it all. Each time I go out there, I'm looking for growth. One morning I found another little sprout rising to the surface. I know that we labeled each row carefully, and I watched as the boys created their rows, but this little guy didn't belong to a row. It seemed to grow between to labeled rows. I tried to figure out which herb I would be dressing my food with in a few short months, but I was lost as always. They all just seem to start out the same way. That was the moment I realized how similar our lives are to gardens. I know the nature versus nurture debate has gone on for years and I don't want to discuss it here, but those little sprouts had me thinking. God plants us in the womb of a woman. We have our genetic make up. We are who we are. The chives are chives. They will grow to be chives, not basil or cilantro. God knew exactly who I would be. He knew that I would be a sporto, jock, shorts and tank wearing writer who didn't want to write about the fitness world she enjoys so much. That's pretty cool. However, from our stand point, we look at those parents - in whatever capacity we have. The biological parents have given us genes that will make us who we are in part. I'm never going to be the perfect 5'8" that I wanted to be. Those dreams left in middle school. My beautiful eyes came from generations of a recessive gene on both sides of my lineage. How my parents raised me comes into play as well. I lived in a home with all biological family members. I never had to wonder who my real mother/father was. I didn't experience divorce, nor was I used as a bargaining chip in arguments. These are things others deal with on a regular basis. It forms minds and hearts. There are behaviors that are passed down through generations and it begins in the brain's development at a young age; things like stress, worry, fear, and anger. How amazing is that? We are finding out how addiction, depression, and cancer likelihood are passed on in families, but how the depression is dealt with can make a child go one way or another. The chives will be chives. How they grow, if they grow, will be on us. Did my son water the plants enough? Was the weather (something out of our control) working with us or against us? I have often started an herb garden with great success. The herbs grow. I water, give sunlight, and then I leave, or the ants eat them, or I forget. Who gave us water? Who led us in light? Were we left to then grow on our own far too soon, or did nourishment continue in our lives? It's interesting to see it all play out. In the argument of nature versus nurture, I came to a conclusion that I stand by today. It's both. I have pieces of me that I was born with. It is part of me whether I like it or not. How it grows and develops has been left to my environment and the people who tended the garden of my heart. I know this is a vague post. I simply fell in love with the thought that my God knew I'd be a hybrid plant. He knew that parts of life would be grafted in to make me who I am. He knew I wouldn't have to give up being "Sporty Spice", as my brother's friend called me, to be a writer, a mother, a wife, a crafter. I can be a hybrid plant in his garden. I can also give in to the genes that were given me that may not be as great as my eyes, or I can be nurtured to overcome the parts that could hold me back. At the end of the day, He has always known where I would grow strongest to be useful for those around me. |
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May 2023
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