Today's society is filled with parents and grandparents that believe children, their children, are perfect. Go back 30 years. Go to school. Teacher contacts a parent. Parent shows up to the school. How does this play out? The kid is in some major doo doo. Right?! Today, what happens? Teacher is in doo doo. Nothing has changed in the rules, it's the people.
What about everywhere else? Who's fault is it? Who's the bad guy? It is always easier to take the bad situations of our children and make it someone else's fault. Always. What happens if someone isn't at fault? Then we have to discipline, console, or worse, admit the truth. It creates a world of truth blindness. And when the children grow to be teens and adults, they don't know how to handle the truth. And that's even harder. I read a post on Facebook in a mom group that her son was cut from the basketball team. I know a friend of mine's son has also been cut from the team. It's hard. It is really hard. As a coach, I hated cutting kids. I hated cutting kids with good attitudes that lacked skill. I hated cutting kids that could play if we were at a smaller school. I hated the disappointment. But it was a job that I had to do. I had to build a program based upon positions, skill level, age/grades, and everything else. When I was growing up my father was brutally honest. He told me I was too short to make it as a good basketball player. Ouch. But true. He would usually follow it up with some sound advice- You need a quicker first step. You need to have a faster release on your shot. You need to be faster, stronger... I went into high school with something to prove. I wanted to show my dad, and everyone else that the short girl could be the fastest, strongest, quickest, best everything. Sure, there was some unhealthy competition levels for myself, but it gave me a drive and a purpose. I had a focus. And I never had my dad blowing smoke up my butt. Do I wish I had received more compliments? Naturally. But we had a strong relationship because I knew he wasn't lying to me. Now, as a parent myself, I find it best practice to meet somewhere in the middle. My kids need to know when they mess up. They need to know the truth. I can tell them their weaknesses. But I also tell them their strengths. I tell them where they can improve, but what is looking great. It's a balancing act. Sometimes I want to jump in with parents today and say that my baby got robbed!!! But I know that if I simply tell them, "Hey, guess it wasn't happening today. That's alright, get 'em next time." I'm more likely to help them deal with failures healthily later on in life. It's hard. Life is hard. Being a mom is hard. When someone hurts our kids, we want to hurt them back. We can't. We have to learn to rise above and teach our children to do the same. My dad was blunt. That hurts. But I'm thankful that I wasn't blind to the truth. I'm still short, but I proved to the world what short girls can do.
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AuthorI have a lot to say about a lot of things. Archives
May 2023
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