That title might look like a lot of things to different people. If you're a basketball player, you might think of someone blocking a shot. If you are struggling emotionally, you might assume this is a social rejection. Perhaps you are the person that has just done some rejecting, whether in a good way or bad.
Let me ask you this. What do you think of when I say the name Stephen King? -horror novels -New England home -hit by a car -"Here's Johnny!" -clowns -prom I used to think those things as the first and foremost items of Mr. King. Then I read his book On Writing. This brilliant work starts off with his childhood memories. As he enters into his teenage years he finds his passion for writing. Even as a young teen, he sends out his writing to magazines. And do you know what happens? He gets rejected. Back in those days they actually sent out rejection letters. Today is mostly through emails and websites. When he was first rejected, he didn't crumble it up and throw it away pouting. Nope, the man took a nail and nailed his rejection letter to the wall over his desk and typewriter. He wrote so many pieces and sent off so many submissions that by the time he was fourteen the nail didn't hold all of his rejection letters. He switched to a spike! That's incredible. Stephen King was rejected from publishers hundreds of times. Remarkable. You might be feeling what I'm getting to. I have been making it a goal to send out submissions at least twice a week. I submit novels and short stories to publishers that are taking unsolicited submissions. Let me tell you, there aren't many. So the next step is to submit to agents, in hopes that they can get you in the door with a big publisher. With every submission comes hope and fear. Rejection sucks. I hate thinking about the fact that someone doesn't like my work. I hate feeling that I'm wasting my time. There is only one thing worse than rejection. That is, the fear of rejection. Getting a response that your work isn't what they wanted is no fun. But not sending in a work because you think, "What's the point?" or "Can I handle another rejection?" is paralyzing. That's when I think of Stephen King. Not only did he show incredible mental fortitude to continue pushing his work, he did it as a teenager. Maybe that's the difference. When we're teenagers we have more drive and less complacency. If his writing didn't get published, he could still go on with a new career path down the line. When I think of the process: submit, wait, hope, fear, wait, open email, sigh, repeat, I get weary. It's mentally and emotionally draining to expose yourself to strangers and find out that they hate your baby. Then again, it's the old-school American way. I've met authors before that are doing what I want to do. They sit where I want to sit. They speak and sign where I want to as well. I've looked at them and said, "What did it for them, but not for me?" And as I get the opportunity to speak with them, I learn their secrets. Every author I have met (Charleston has quite a few) has something I don't have. Many have self published like I have, so I'm excluding those. The magic formula is simple. These people (usually women) do not have full time jobs. They aren't full time stay at home moms. And their spouses are either retired from or still working in high paying jobs. I'm not saying that money buys you publishers, but it does give them an advantage. Let me explain. I wake up before 5am everyday. Why? Well, I want to work out and it is easier to do before I begin homeschooling my kids. (This is usually around 8.) So why not wake up at 6? I work every weekday morning from 6-7. Then I shower and get the kids breakfast, start the chores, down a coffee, and away we go. If I didn't have to homeschool my kids, I could send them on a bus before 7 and work out after my client. I would then have from 8-230 to do whatever I wanted. Those hours now are filled with teaching, correcting, snack getting, lunch making, chore doing, and attempting to work. I also play the main driver in "How to get my kids to and from dance and taekwondo." Those are the hours of 325-?? and I cannot focus on work during that time. I'm also training at various times throughout the days that take me away from everything else as I focus on their workouts and goals. So if I wasn't working, there would be a few more hours in the day for me to do other things (including less driving back and forth to drop kids and get home in time to work). Basically, if I didn't have to work and care for children, I would have hours galore to spend online researching, submitting, and whatnot. If I was married to a big wig in corporate work and didn't have small children to care for, I might get to go to conferences and meet face to face with people that could actually want my writing. These are opportunities that I don't have at this stage in life. So I have two options. One, I can live in the continual fear that I'm just not what people want and let this dream slip away. Two, I can nail the spike in the metaphorical wall and keep track of my rejections only in the sense that I'm not submitting enough. I choose the second. It will be hard. It will be draining. In the end, I hope, that it will be worth it because hope is greater than fear.
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Time is an interesting concept. You can look at two eight year old boys and say, "You will read for one hour." For one, it could be torture, for the other, a vacation of epic proportions. They say that time flies when you're having fun. I believe time flies when you just don't want it to. Don't believe me?
Sometimes work is less than enjoyable. We have all been there. Difficult customers, bad weather, horrible boss, whatever the case. The work drags on. However, sometimes the work is hard, but long. You might love your job, it's still work. It's still hard. Maybe your boss is getting onto you to finish multiple projects on a tight timeline. Even when the work is terrible, you seem to run out of time. You have too much to do and not enough time to do it. We've all had a day or two when the we sit down and say, "I'll just watch one episode." What happens? Three hours later you realize you haven't done what you need to do. Why? Because you need just a little time to relax and a lot of time to work. I'm a stickler for time. I think we all can be in certain situations. Ever gone to the doctor and wait in the waiting room for an hour. By the time you see the doctor you don't even care what they have to say because they took an hour of your life. You want to punch them regardless of diagnosis. Why? You just had your time wasted. You think about all the things you could have had done if you weren't stuck in that room for an hour. You make an appointment. You set a time. The doctor doesn't seem to care whether your appointment was at nine or three. They still get paid. Well, I don't believe all the doctors are heartless creatures, but it sure feels like that. And we have all been there and know that feeling of some jerk taking your time despite the fact that you followed the rules, made the appointment, and showed up on time-or early if you're like me. It's frustrating to have someone take your time like that. Now we enter into a setting where the majority of Americans are home. Kids are doing schoolwork for a few hours here and there. Parents are juggling life. And somehow there are other aspects of life that are still trying to go on. In this time of isolation, I have had people that are still being quite rude with my time. I think I have a theory. Let's pretend that I am a millionaire. If I say, "Hey, let's go grab some dinner together," and we have done this in the past, and we always split the check. You agree to grab dinner, knowing you're paying for your own. I choose the restaurant and simply give you an address. You throw it in the GPS and show up. The restaurant is a five star, high end restaurant and nobody is getting out of there for under $100. For me, it's nothing. I toss a couple of bills on the table and enjoy the cuisine. But if you only have $350 in your account and won't get paid for a couple of days, you might get a little frustrated. Maybe if I had told you, you would have planned better or not gone clothes shopping. Who knows. Either way, it would have been respectful of me to let you know where we were going or what to expect before you show up and are forced to pay a hefty some for a night out. Let's swap out money for time. If I have hours to kill, no obligations or commitments I might not always think about if you are running around like crazy. What does that look like? It's just like the doctor. If you leave your work for a doctor's appointment stating it should only take an hour and a half, including your drive time, and you haven't even seen the doctor when that time frame passes, now you're showing up for work late. You're worrying over whether or not you'll get reamed out or put on probation. Stress comes. Anger comes. If I set an appointment for my clients, I usually get ready a few minutes before their arrival. I make sure the door is open and the floor is swept. When their appointment time arrives, they should be ready to warm up or even begin their workout if their early. Now what happens when they show up late? I have two ways to handle this situation. The first way is to say, "Well, your appointment was from 3-4. You showed up at 3:10, but we still need to end at 4." That is the appropriate business attack. I kept my appointment, now you keep yours. Only problem is, I usually feel bad for my clients and don't want to cheat them out of the time they have paid for and still give them the hour. I know, it's a horrible practice. It doesn't happen often. But this should translate into all of life. If you plan on calling a friend each week on Wednesday at 2pm, you better be on your phone at that time with that person. If you know that your friends or family have someplace to be by a certain time, you need to be willing to end whatever it is you're doing. They did their part and told you. You do your part and respect it. What happens when you don't respect those people and their time? Stress. Anxiety. Anger. Hurt. The person being disrespected has to make a choice. They can either speak up and let you know that you have overstayed your welcome (in whatever capacity that is). Or they will clam up and stew over how you have disrespected their time. I find it a bit presumptuous of people to assume they don't have to respect people's time. I don't understand the mentality behind it. But what it comes down to in the end is this- They obviously value their own schedule over yours. It makes sense. We're selfish human beings. So if they cannot respect your time, you must respect it yourself. You must choose the first option and speak up. You don't have to be rude, but you must be clear. There is a schedule to keep. It's simple. Some of you may fall on my side of this. You're a stickler for time. Others will say, "Who cares?" If you are the latter, I mean this from my heart, you're being rude. Take a second and think about how you handle yourselves. Do better.
Well, it's Thursday. It's time for me to be profound. I should share wisdom and encourage deep thoughts in my blog.
Let's face it. We're all a little over the talk of corona/covid-19/the rona. We have hope that this is, in fact, the down slope of the curve. We have hope that all this will end soon enough. We long for kids to go to classes. We long for spouses to not work next to us. We are craving a little hint of what our lives were a month ago. We're also tired, exhausted, frustrated, bored, annoyed, determined, compassionate, agitated beyond all hope, flabbergasted, yada yada yada. So this is my attempt to leave behind corona for only a few moments. In March, my newest title was released. Timmy Gets a Trophy. It's a bit outside of the typical kids book. This book is focused on the depletion of the participation trophy. That's right. This book teaches children the importance of EARNING recognition, rather than having it handed to them for showing up and doing the bare minimum. If this is something you're interested in, feel free to contact me for a signed copy, or shop on Amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/Timmy-Gets-Trophy-Jewel-Sweeney/dp/B084Z2115G/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=jewel+sweeney&qid=1587061018&sr=8-3
Additionally, I began working with Mascot Books to publish book number four in the Bugaboo & Ladybug series. Normally I would have begun in the fall, but the death of loved ones kept my mind from anything of the sort. In January I realized that I was a bit behind on things and we got going right away. Now, for those of you that might want a sneak peak, you'll get it. This is The Adventures of Bugaboo & Ladybug: Trouble In Town
I am attaching a contact form below. If you would like to pre-order Trouble in Town, or order a signed copy of any of my books, feel free to fill out the information. Once payment clears, your book(s) will be in the mail.
The Adventures of Bugaboo & Ladybug: Up, Up, & Away The Adventures of Bugaboo & Ladybug: Out of This World The Adventures of Bugaboo & Ladybug: Fire Breathing Dragon The Adventures of Bugaboo & Ladybug: Trouble in Town (pre-order) <Each picture book of Bugaboo & Ladybug - $14 + shipping> The Bugaboo & Ladybug Adventure Notebook - $7 + shipping Timmy Gets a Trophy $6 + shipping A Time to Walk - $6 + shipping The Unseen Path - $7 + shipping Running 101 - $5 + shipping Conditioning 201 - $12 + shipping Shipping is determined by which title selected and number of copies.
And that is my selfish, corona free blog post. Thanks for joining!
There are a lot of things going on these days that are bringing people together.
There are also a lot of things that are tearing people apart. As we're stuck inside, we can be glued to the screens of our wonderful technology that is keeping us connected. The problem is that we are losing a bit of our humanity in the process. It's becoming even easier to point fingers, assign blame, and become nasty. I was recently scrolling through Facebook only to find an endless array of "games" about "friends" and opinions of this situation we're in. The combination showed me how self involved we truly are. Now, this isn't something new. However, with the isolation we're in, our focus on self is becoming everything on our minds. When mention of another human occurs, it is always about how they have been wronged by that person. Depressing. After a rough night of scrolling, the next morning I was privileged to hear an amazing Michael Jackson song. The song Man in the Mirror always had me singing. "I'm starting with the man in the mirror I'm asking him to change his ways And no message could have been any clearer (If you want to make the world a better place) Take a look at yourself, and them make a change At first, I was just singing and two stepping to the song of my childhood. Then I began to think about what has been going on. I, too, want to complain about everything going on. I need to actively stop myself from my bellyaching so that I can make the change I want to see. Feeling down and out? Go do something for your neighbors (safely). Send someone a gift card. Make a silly video and plaster it on Facebook. Frustrated that the masks have been sold out for a month? Make some. Not a crafty person? Purchase materials and donate them to someone making masks. Do you have free time to read a book? Read it. Devour it. If you love it, recommend it to others. Write an email to the author telling them how much you enjoyed it (if they're alive). Are you really good with numbers? Volunteer to do online tutoring for kids. They can be in your area or anywhere! What a great way to connect with family across the country! I get frustrated easily. I always have. My fuse is no longer than my nose. Lately I've been thinking about some of the things that bother me. What is the length of this issue? How much of an impact will it have on me, my family, community, country, world? What can I do to offset this? And when all else fails, since the attention is already on you- what can you do just for your little bubble to ease the negative. I've spent a good number of nights with my children in the kitchen. We're cooking dinner together. The benefits are phenomenal. 1- Delicious dinner. 2- Teamwork/communication skills building. 3- Kids are getting real world experience to handle life on their own. 4- I don't always feel like I'm being taken advantage of because I'm the person continually serving the others. The same goes for chores around the house. My children know they have to do chores every day. Last week they asked what their chore was so they could get it done (ability to have free play time!). My response - be ready and helpful. If I call out, "Hey, will you help me?" say yes and come help. And you know what? There were no complaints. I didn't fuss about doing everything for everyone (that day) and they didn't argue about having a chore to do. We found a fix. When you want a change in the people around you, you should always start with your self. Jesus said it best, "Why do you worry about the speck in your neighbor's eye. First remove the plank from your own eye. Then you will be able to help your neighbor." Deal with yourself. Find the answers with yourself. Then spread grace, love, and peace to those around you. This is kind of crazy, isn't it? The entire world is suffering from a virus that spreads like the wild fires of Australia not all that long ago. It is painful for many in this world. The death toll increases daily. The cases open are staggering. And at this point, I feel like I'm playing the six degrees of Kevin Bacon. In case you are unfamiliar with the game, you give an actor or actress. And in six transitions, you get to a time when an actor was with KB. For instance, Mike Meyers, one of the best comedians of the 90's-2000's (and still today let's just be honest.) Meyers was in So I Married an Ax Murderer with Nancy Travis. Nancy Travis stars in "Last Man Standing" with Tim Allen. Tim Allen starred in Toy Story with Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks was in Apollo 13 with Kevin Bacon.
That is how I feel right now. Aunt and Uncle in Virginia go to church with someone to have Covid 19. Neighbor's sister in Michigan has been diagnosed. A woman that goes to the office of a client, her boyfriend has been tested. Another client's nephew. We kept waiting for someone we know to come back with a diagnosis. And now they are beginning. So what do we do? Well, if we're smart, we're staying home. But that seems to be turning into a more of an issue than we ever expected. I did a live video on changing the mindset of homeschooling. Recently, I read a post that said, "You aren't working from home. You are home, trying to work while a global crisis is taking place." That one got me really thinking. It was right there along with my mindset of changing the way we view this new educational system. I'm going to put my two cents out there, because I can. We need to change our perspective during this whole thing. How many people are always complaining that the weekend was too short, there isn't enough time to get things done, and family time has been done away with? Now is the chance! You need to have the laptop open and produce a bit of work every once in a while. Yes, that is true. You need to convince your kids to do some work so they aren't two grades behind come next September. But you get to do it as a unit. You get to experience this together. So often people face tragedy alone. Cancer battles, loss of loved ones, mental health, job loss, and more are usually handled in a lonely manner. Yes, there are people in our lives we can talk to, or they sit along with us as we deal, but we still have to come out the other side on our own. Even those of us that battle depression. We might be in an up swing while another is in the slumps. We can offer advice, a shoulder, or any number of things, but that doesn't mean it will be received well. But this!! We are all in this together. Some are home praying that the virus does not spread to our family and friends. Some are working, praying that they don't bring it home to their loved ones. We are taking charge of our children's education together. We are sitting and waiting, together. So, let's change our perspective. Do we deny the horrid aspects of this virus? No. Do we assume that we are free and clear? No. Do we stop for a moment and think? pray? listen? Ahhh. I came to the conclusion last week that America only understands how to operate in stress. I can remember in high school hearing about how Spain handles life. The long lunch breaks for family meals and rest. The idea intrigued me. What would our lives look like if we took more time to be still and rest? Now is our chance. Now is the time when we are not allowed to run around like crazy people being the best parent/spouse/friend that we can be. We have few obligations these days except to just be. How many books are we absorbing into our brains? How many walks are we enjoying? Are you sitting on the couch to just sit and be a part of family time? If we do what we are being asked to do - stay home and away from everyone that we don't live with- we can reset ourselves. We can reset our families. We can reset our minds. We can have peace. We can have time. In the craziness of our world, we are allowed to just rest. And it is okay. You're allowed to not get everything done and simply process what is happening. You're allowed to let things slip by and take time to love your family. You're allowed to just be. This state that we're in is a tragedy. This virus could be slowing and become more contained if we followed rules. But we can also find the beauty of this tragedy. We can find ourselves before we lose ourselves. We can re-prioritize our lives. |
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