The Azaleas were in bloom the first week in March. The fragrance and color brought joy to our hearts. By the middle of March they were withered and gone. No, their season hadn't ended, but our temperatures dropped below thirty. The flowers couldn't handle the cold.
When I saw the wilted azaleas while driving my children, my heart felt heavy. There was nothing that could have been done to save all the azaleas. I saw some people covering plants in our neighborhood to keep the warmth in over those two chilly nights. But I simply cannot imagine seeing large coverings over eight-foot tall shrubs growing along the sides of busy streets. It made me think about our lives. So often we put ourselves out there to blossom in the sun. We feel the freedom in the warmth and spread our branches to the sky. And look! We do what we hope to do. We grow. We shine. We show others our beauty! But sometimes winter weather comes out of nowhere. We just aren't strong enough. We aren't designed to be out in the harshest of temperatures, but it happens. Sometimes, it just happens. Sometimes our lives get dealt the worst of conditions. And we fizzle. Without notice, our bright and cheery dispositions whither to the ground below. If we're lucky, there will be someone that takes notice. They will see that one day we are open and vibrant and the next day we have withdrawn from life itself. They may not be able to do anything to help us, but they will take notice. They will be saddened with us. They will join us in our grief and hurt and pray for our revival. One thing I noticed while driving past the previously beautiful flowers: the petals were still on the bushes. That may not seem significant, but if you know azaleas, you might think differently. When the azaleas are done, the season over, the time to die comes, the flowers drop from the bush. The delicate petals cover the earth like poorly made romance novel boudoir scene. The flowers are not gone. Perhaps they will live once more. Only time will tell if they will recover, but I pray they do, as I pray we all do when the unexpected cold front comes.
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One thing I love about living in South Carolina is that the beautiful flowers of spring start nice and early. Not long ago, big, bright bushes filled from top to bottom with azaleas began blooming all over our town. Although my sinuses are unbearable thanks to the pollen soaring through the warm air, it is worth it.
The weather will fluctuate throughout these spring months, but there is so much hope in those blooms. If you don't know about azaleas, I'll give you a little rundown of basics within our town. You can find azaleas in a variety of colors - white, light pink, hot pink, and a deep pink that are almost red. And these flowers are delicate. You can't pick a dozen and put them in a vase. They need to stay on the shrub or they whither and die quite quickly. I hope you get the picture. Those bushes of azaleas bring in beauty everywhere you look. Some people prune them into nicely trimmed shrubbery and other times they grow large and unruly with beauty sprawling in the most amazing ways. The hope that comes from these friendly beauties reminds us that the cold harsh months of winter are done. The sun will warm the ground. The butterflies will emerge from cocoons. New life shines and it's there for us to grab up and enjoy. More people are out and about. Bike rides, walking, running. Better be careful when driving, don't get too caught up in the beauty or you might run into someone. Spring in the south is like the foliage of New England. I love these days. I love opening windows to get the crisp spring air in the house. And in just a few days of driving the kids to dance, I find myself more chipper for life. I can see it in others as well. Why? Deep within us we want the freedom that blooming azaleas reveal to us. We want a hope that pushes us to thrive in the early spring. We want to push aside the cold that we face. We need a reminder that life continues despite the harsh things that we have battled, be it in recent weeks, months, or years. Wowza! It has been a while since I've been able to post here. I do apologize. I've been getting my booty kicked by school the last seven weeks. Yet, here I am on spring break able to write again. Not just my blog, but a novel as well. It has been so wonderful to pick up work that I have missed out on. But as I sit in my spring break (which doesn't last like it used to) I find myself looking at college in a new light.
When I went to get my first bachelor's I was all about getting classes done and over with. I jumped through hoops, did as much work as needed, and did what I thought I needed to do to succeed. When break came, I was happy to relax and not think about school. Things are a bit different this time around. For one, I'm older than all of my professors. I also do more than what is needed to get by. But the biggest thing I have found, is that I know myself better. I understand that I don't test well. I know that I have issues with reading (especially wordy documents and long pages). I know my strength lies in writing, attendance, participation, and communication. I find myself using my strengths, but working in my weaknesses. I am creating tricks and helping myself succeed. This wasn't always the case. Growing up, I was told what to do and how to do it. There were no options. ADD? No, that's for bad kids that don't get beat enough for acting out. Reading deficits? Nope, you're in honors classes, you're a smart kid. Test anxiety? You must not have studied well. Any issue that I had could be explained away and not addressed. I'm an adult now. It's my life. These are my choices. There are issues. I have issues (we know, we know). What I do with the knowledge of my struggles is on my shoulders. I can pass the blame to nobody else. I need to set myself up for success, no matter what that looks like. I saved a meme to my phone the other day. It said, "Once you become a certain age, it is your responsibility to unlearn behaviors that hinder your growth as a person." I can't lie. When I first read this quote I wasn't thinking of myself. I was thinking of adults that had hurt me. Adults that make excuses. Adults that always find a way to justify their actions. But I thought about it again as I was evaluating my semester thus far. There are so many times that I am proud of myself for getting back into school and getting a degree in something completely different. I'm so proud of myself for working hard and balancing life. But there are still times that I am afraid that I'm doing the wrong assignment. I'm afraid that I'm not writing what the professor wants. I doubt my ability to take tests because I know who I have been. But I have reached a certain age that it is my responsibility to unlearn and relearn for my own growth. To be honest, that's what I'm most proud of. I will continue to grow and not be hindered by anyone else's version of my story. We are adults. It's time to fight for ourselves. |
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