I've had some time to chew on this topic as it hit me last week. I wanted to write it immediately, but I knew that I would spew out something prematurely and find myself frustrated, not speaking clearly the point. So hopefully I am moving forward and the words come out as needed. Heads up, this may be a long one.
Last week during a volleyball match I almost dropped a kid (20 years old? maybe?) and laid into him. You see, my kids have been coming with to volleyball for the first time ever. Typically my parents watch them and they eat a ton of freeze pops, ice cream, and pretzels while wanting to play and watch cartoons until we get them. This year, the scheduler has made it easier keeping teams on to play either the first two matches or the second. We didn't drop the kids with my parents the first week due to timing, and so they followed along. They (mainly Caleb) learned how to keep score during the matches. The referee was extremely patient and has deemed them "hers" during matches. Last week during the 9:15 match my kids, along with another child of our team, were sitting to do score. Caleb did the first game having problems only when the numbers stuck to each other. The second game the girls wanted to help. At one point they knocked over the scoreboard. Other times one would change the score in the middle of a point. Things weren't fantastic. So I told Caleb to take over for AJ. The other parent yelled to her child to let Caleb do it alone. So we handled the situation. Points later, Caleb is moving the score and numbers stick a little. It was the old school P.E. style score board where you move the ones column points and to get to double digits you have to flip back to zero and turn the number in the tens column. He was doing this (for the opposing team) and it didn't move as quickly as one player hoped. He burst out with, "Can we please find someone else do to the scoring?!" My response was, "By all means." He yelled to his girlfriend to do it and continued to ramble on in anger and finished it with, "This is why you don't bring your kids to volleyball." Whoooooo doggy. I almost had him on the ground. My adrenaline was rushing. I'm not a flight type of gal and I was ready to fight. However, I left room for Jesus and called a time out. No, I was not pleasant. It was, "Time out! Time. I need a time out before I smack him!" Once the referee gave us the time out I walk out of the gym. I wanted to swear but didn't have anything to say besides, "Don't talk about my kids!" In that moment the rage subsided and I heard the voice of God, "Use it." I walked straight into that gym with a feeling I haven't had in a long time. One that said, "Let's do this." I felt like I was back in high school playing street ball. The grin on my face proved it. (Charlie knew what was about to happen.) I walked to where we meet to talk between plays. We gave our "Side out" call and walked back to positions. Our team made short work of them while Caleb continued to keep score. I was ready to fight. Most people say it's that Mama Bear syndrome. It's a little more than that. Sure I wanted to drop him because he was being rude, but it was more than that. It's something that the referee shares with me. When I was out of the gym the referee decided to give her opinion to the opposing player. She put him in his place and made sure his girlfriend knew that Caleb was in charge of the score board. Remember the saying, "Pick on someone your own size"? That's a bit of what it comes to. If there is anything we know about me, it's that I am like my father. I promise you those Progressive commercials were designed by someone that met my family. One thing I always admired in my dad was his ability to stick up for those that couldn't. He often played in basketball tournaments with his 6'5" cousin and younger, but slightly taller and broader brother. Players were quick to start fights, but my smaller than other father never backed down and enjoyed a good win. Heck, you have to stand up for the little guy when it's you. He took that with him and I received that mindset as well. I remember a time in college when I was so mad. I had been wronged and I needed help. I called my dad waiting for him to save the day. He didn't. He wouldn't. I was an adult and was left to handle on my own. At first I was upset that he wouldn't help his little girl. Later I came to realize he knew I didn't need it. I was more than capable of handling it and I needed to fight my own battles. Yes, we fight for the those who can't fight for themselves. Don't believe me? Ask my two friends of 25 years. Waiting to load the bus in 3rd grade, a kid began picking on who I thought was a girl in my class. I got him to knock it off and became friends with her. I then learned it was her twin sister who was in my class and became friends with her as well. 25 years of friendship because I came to her aid in the bus line. There was the time in 2nd grade I fought two boys because they were pretending to kick my friend in the head. The boys were forced to apologize for fighting with a girl, even though I took them both down. I am a woman that loves justice. I inherited it from my father. And I adore the stories of my great grandfather and all the times he fought for the little guy - even against racists in the streets of Boston. I wish I would have known him. This isn't about the family tree of fighters. This is about the love of justice. Over and over we see in the Old and New Testament to take care of the orphan and the widow. We have to help the poor. We are to be ministers to the people that cannot take care of themselves. It's our duty to care for others. It's our job to fight for those that can't pick up the fight for themselves. The referee stood in for me and my son when she spoke to our opponent. She fought when I couldn't (I could, but probably would've been arrested). Those little things are reminders for that there is a bigger fight out in the world. If we are not willing to stand in the gap and fight for those that can't what will happen? Are we willing to let people go hungry? There is a continual stigma that the poor are poor because they drank it all away or used it up on drugs. I won't deny those cases, but why are those the only ideas we have? What about the man that loses his job? Well, society has taught him to load everything on credit cards and loans. He's alright for a few months, but when another job doesn't come he loses it all. His wife despises him and runs off with the kids. Now he floats around trying to get by and all we can do is try to ignore him. Why give him a buck? He'll use it on booze. (Wouldn't you?) Who are we to make the judgment call on his character? How would you feel? There are people who are hurting. They barely make it day to day. And some days they don't want to try anymore. I am so thankful each and every day that I see friends in the adoption process or fostering. I am so thankful for people that are serving in food banks and group homes that give the homeless a chance to get it right. I am grateful for the staff at the facility where my grandmother is, and the friendships she is creating. Caring for the poor, the orphans, and the widows could mean a number of things. It doesn't always mean money. It could be the time you take to sit and talk and give them company. It could be having them over for a warm meal. It could be praying for them. It must be fighting for them. It must be taking action. There is something oh so fulfilling in fighting for those that can't - even if it is just in the moment. It isn't always easy to know how to help the poor, the orphan, or the widow, but I'm sure you can find times where the little guy is getting pushed around. I challenge you to step up for the little guy. I'm sure you can find someone that is struggling to fight for themselves on any street in America. Fight for justice. Isaiah 1:17 - Learn to do good; Seek justice, Reprove the ruthless, Defend the orphan, Plead for the widow. And yes, a week after the incident when I told my father what had happened, he was ready to fight. Don't mess with Dada.
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When you read that title you think I'm going to hit some great joke, right? Sorry to disappoint. Just me and my ramblings of a blog trying to get life sorted out. My last post was about the hurricane approaching and the chaos that could ensue or the peace that can come. This is building on that a bit. We'll start with the run.
Sunday morning, my church was going live on Facebook because we couldn't use our facility. That meant I had a morning off on a Sunday. The whole week was weird to me with no "work," no school for Charlie, and rain. I decided a nice morning run was in order to finalize this crazy week. I consulted Charlie as to which route I should take and he sent me for the longest one...perhaps I should have thought about his motives on that. Oh well. Off I went. I do my best thinking when I'm running. My mind clears up and the important things come to mind. I started thinking about the hurricane and my peace with it and that's when God dropped a little nugget of knowledge in my head. There is a reason for why I stay so calm with storms. Let me dive in. First of all, I love weather and storms. I get so into it. However, being a mother, I need to let go of my storm tracker desires and focus on their safety. So when the talk of a hurricane coming towards the southeast hits my ear I begin to pray. My prayers are simple. Lord, do we go? I'm stubborn, and I found out I said the EXACT SAME WORDS AS MY FATHER. "You go, I need to stay in case something goes wrong. If I'm here to fix it there will be less damage." Go ahead. Face palm. Look, a 4 or 5 coming at my house, we're out. Bags packed. Papers taken. We are gone. 3 and under, I do some evaluating. I ask God, "Do we stay?" "Do we leave yet?" "Am I sending Charlie and the kids?" But here is the thing. I listen. In order to listen to God, you have to shut up. You have to take captive every thought - fear, worry, to do list, children - and truly listen. So far in hurricane history I have heard, "Stay." "You need to be strong for the kids, they're scared." "Stay." For this storm, I heard the voice of God say, "You'll be just fine." Every time, He's right! So last week when panicked people approached me, I stayed calm. I had peace. Not because of the weather man, which I was watching, but because every time Flo shifted, I was in prayer. Here's the thing that hit me while I was running - I'm an idiot. (You're welcome.) Not for the paragraph above am I an idiot, but because I don't apply the principles above to rest of my life. I used to love running because it was my time with God. The last few months I have felt less like my runs had the same prayer time. Today's run? I felt like I was back! My knee was killing me in the first mile and pain wanted to take me home. But then God's word, this word, hit my heart and I just kept going. Sometimes I feel like my life is the spaghetti model of the hurricane tracking. There are ten different paths. One far north, one far south, but the majority are there all squiggled together. That's when my prayers start off with, "God, help me." "What do I do?" "Please deal with this." "Will you take care of that?" "Bless me, please, I need it." And then I run away in a hurricane frenzy. I don't stop to listen. What would my life look like if I just stopped and listened in prayer for His answer? That's when I realized the next piece. Sometimes I don't stop to listen because the kids need me or I have to run out to a client or life, life, life. When the storm comes I stop and listen because I need to know what to do for my family. I'm not being a selfish twit. I have peace in my prayers because I'm willing to stop and listen for them. When it has to do with my work, our finances, my stress, the school, I'm thinking about me. I don't stop and listen. Don't get me wrong, I have had plenty of times that I realize I need to stop and sit at His feet to just be with Him and listen. But I think I'm safe in saying that the majority of times my life is throwing gale force winds, I'm moving without listening. So where does the card game come in? Well, eight miles gives me a lot of thinking time (I'm not that fast). On the journey back, with this wisdom imparted I started to think about how I need to reorder my life. I do this often with my to do lists. Do I play for points or potential? What does that mean? Well, Charlie and I play Cribbage, a card game with a wooden board. My grandparents taught me, my brother and grandmother also play. It's one of my favorite parts of Christmas and family gatherings. Sometimes we just sit and play with a piece of pie by our sides. In this game, you are dealt six cards. You must discard two into the crib. The crib will be played later in the hand by whoever dealt the hand. As you are discarding your two cards, you must keep in mind that there will be a turn card, and whether or not the crib is yours. There are many factors, and as much of it is a game of luck, there is some strategy to it. I will often ask Charlie if I should play for points or potential. What that means is that I may have six to eight points keeping a certain group of four card, but I have the potential for ten or twelve points if I give up that four and hold a different four. I have a tendency to do that with my to do lists. If I take care of all the little junk, I have more things checked off. Six points guarenteed. Or I can stop rushing with the little things and pour myself into something that will take a little longer, but the result will be fourteen points. That's IF I can make it happen. In my life, I often play for points. Sitting and listening to God means waiting, resting, stopping. It's playing the potential. The hurricane is shown on the radar, I play potential 100% of the time. I stop and listen. I'm learning the valuable lesson that I need to have the same peace of God in my everyday life that I have during a hurricane. Well, in case you haven't seen the news of the southeast, we are in the midst of hurricane season. Ms. Florence is making her way towards the Carolinas. I can't say I blame her, it is a fantastic place to visit, especially in September.
I love hurricanes. I don't know what it is, but it gets me ready and fired up. I lived in the north and have seen my share of blizzards and snow storms. I remember one hurricane that made its way to the Cape and my science teacher made us track it. I wish he was still alive. I would find him on Facebook or something and talk about the storms all day. One thing that I do not do with hurricanes is panic. I'm not sure what it is, but when the people around me go into crisis mode, I go into chill out mode. Perhaps it is me trying to even the emotions, but I feel like it's more than that. I've always been a lot like my father. I know, you're all shocked. I've noticed how he and I react in times of trouble. We keep the steady course. We do what needs to be done, hunker down, and stay calm. Having a level head is always admirable. The few times I am in frantic mode I feel like I don't even know myself. Being level headed is the way to be. The world needs people that will lower their shoulder and plow through the muck. It's funny. Lately I've been around a lot of people that are going into worried/crazy mode. When I was younger I would have just walked away. I can't do it. Don't throw your anxiety my way. I can make my own if necessary. In the last few years I have learned a different way to approach it all. Ok, so in reality I switched from running away to I'll fix it! That didn't work either because people didn't want my ways to fix it. So then I would get angry and walk away. Since then I have learned that I just need to stay calm and be a steady force. Interestingly, my daughter's Bible study touched on this a bit. We use a VeggieTales Growing Day by Day devotional book. Today's lesson was "God Can Handle It." They use the verse 1 Peter 5:10 which instills in us the confidence that God will restore, establish, strengthen, and support us. Wow. What an amazing thing to even try to comprehend. The Bible study then talks about how nothing is too big for God and that he is loving and protective. He can fix it. "God's got it all under control!" It ends each lesson with a short prayer. Today's is, "Dear God, I know You will take care of me. Help me not to worry when things go wrong and just trust You. Amen." I bet a few of you read that and went back to read it again as your prayer. Peter writes that God will restore, establish, strengthen and support us AFTER he says that we need to cast all our cares and anxieties on him. They go together. When you cast your cares on him and stop worrying and stressing and freaking out, you can be strengthened and supported. It's like on TV when someone goes a little crazy and their friend slaps them across the face. That's how I have always felt around worrisome people. I want to slap them and get them to calm down. But that isn't going to help. Until that person places their anxiety at the feet of Jesus, they cannot truly feel the established way, nor will they be restored to peace. Some time ago I came to the realization that God truly is sovereign. I also understand this knowing that just because He allows for something terrible (like a natural disaster, children dying, hunger and pain) it doesn't mean he enjoys it. The more I have turned to God for his sovereignty and knowing that he is in control, and wills things and allows things, the less worried I am by things. It doesn't mean I don't take action. It just means I have peace. When you lose peace you lose more than just my friendship and attention. Losing your peace leaves you open to attacks. Don't believe me? Let's fill in 1 Peter 5 from verse 7 (cast your cares) to verse 10 (he will strengthen). Verse 8 says: Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Verse 9: Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10: And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. When you lose the ability to be level headed you are moved up on the hit list for the devil's attack. Worrying is one of the most selfish things on the planet. Verse 9 tells us that. How? Worrying says, "This is my problem. Waahh. I'm scared. I'm nervous. I'm anxious. I'm stressed." Look, I'm sure you are. I have no doubt that you have problems that need to be dealt with. However, worrying over it doesn't do anything for you. It puts you in a pity party. "The storm is coming! What do I do? Should I leave? Should I stay? Do I have enough water? And bread! I need gas!" You're right. This is the first ever! Nobody has ever experienced this AND you're the only one going through it!! Ok, so I'm being dramatic. From the viewpoint of the calm person, it's kind of what you look like. But we see that worry is a selfish act. It turns all the focus onto you and your problems instead of God and his solutions. God is sovereign. When the storm hits, he is still there. So here I am in the midst of the incoming storm. It is predicted to hit north of us and we will get some wind and rain. I'm ok with that. I love the time together as a family. Not once have I worried. I know that there could be a shift. If that happens and we need to leave, so be it. If it stays on course, we'll be just fine. Even if we aren't fine, God has that under his control as well. Who am I to worry about the future? Trust me, if there is a problem, you'll want the people that are level headed to come to your rescue, not the fretting and nervous. Lean on 1 Peter 5 as we head into the brunt of hurricane season. Cling to it during the storms of your life. Let the power of God was over you and enjoy the peace and calm. It's funny. I've tried to write a post for today over and over and had problems - site, internet, kids, life. So here I am writing something that I never planned to write. Isn't it funny how things work out?
Topics kept flying into my mind, but as soon as they came they left. Nothing wanted to stick. Then I got hit by a ton of bricks this morning. Body size and clothing mean nothing to me, pain and suffering don't matter, all because I read a verse that captured me like it never had before. Psalm 138:8 says, "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands." If you need to read that a bunch of times and just let it wash over you, please do so. I feel there isn't much more I need to say. But if you want to read on, you may. That's kind of why I'm here. The first part of that verse is more than enough for me. 1- He has a purpose for me. I have purpose. You have purpose. How many times do we wake up and say, "Well, here we go again,"? Or maybe you do endless house work only for people to dirty the floors you cleaned just minutes ago and you think, "Why bother?" Why? Because it's part of the purpose. All this craziness I go through as a mom and homeschooling my kids is paying off. They talked about their futures. Caleb plans on becoming a doctor and buying land in Boca Raton, Florida to build a large enough house for all of us including his future spouse and kids and AJ's. From there he will build a building for his medical practice where AJ is head nurse. This way they can be home and near their families. Even when I yell and scream, they love that we are home. And yes, they want to homeschool their children. Did I picture this years ago? No. But it's all part of my purpose. God of all creation gave me a purpose. 2- He plans on fulfilling his purpose for me. Did you catch that? He does the work. not me!! Oh heck yeah! I don't have to do the work for something important? It almost sounds too good to be true. The Lord plans on fulfilling the purpose he has given me. This means that I need to be walking in his will. That's the tricky part. When you choose your own purpose and do what you think you should do, there's a good chance you won't fulfill your purpose. You might miss out on a great family, or you give up your career, or you miss out on love. Sounds like a Hallmark movie to me. When we walk in his will, following after him and seeking him in decisions, he fulfills the purpose. He brings it to fruition. What an amazing feeling. The next phrase is exactly how I feel after the first- YOUR STEAD FAST LOVE ENDURES FOREVER! When you discover that God has given you a purpose you perk up. When you discover that he fulfills it, you praise. What else can you do?? You just have to sit back and thank him that his love FOR US endures to the end of ages. The last sentence kind of throws me a bit. Let me give you my first and second impressions. 1- Did he just tell God what to do?? Like for real, let me praise you and then give you instructions? Do not forsake the work of your hands. Translation: Hey, God. Do what you said you would do. Bold and sassy. Not sure Yeshua is going to be down with that. 2- Now I read it again. I don't see the ordering God around part this time. I see a cry to him. I see him, David, begging God. When you put it all together you see how he praises his Lord for fulfilling purpose in his life, and just begs him, "Don't forsake me! Don't forget what you said you had for me!" Don't you feel like that sometimes? I sure as heck do. I remember God saying, "He will do great things," while Caleb was still in my belly. Then I have a day where he refuses to work and makes mistakes everywhere. "Greatness? I'd settle for average right now!" My cry some days for God to remember what he said. We know that God will not forsake his word. He will not forsake the work of his hands. He will not forsake us. No, He's given us a purpose. And when we walk in his ways it might get hard, we will see difficult times, but we can hold on to the promise that he will fulfill his purpose in us! Thank you for letting me share what I read today and how it struck my heart. I'm sure it will reach each one of my readers in a new way. I hope you read it and remember it until your final breath. Because he loves us eternally, he has given us a purpose that he will fulfill in us. He will not forsake the work of his hands. Truly amazing. |
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