In my house I have a saying: Do better. Be better.
You may be wondering why that has become a saying for my home, but I tell you know lie, it is the best thing to come out of my mouth. It started when my son was young. He has never held control of his emotions. I don't know why. I honestly want him to be tested for it. Things set him off and he flies off the handle- anger, tears, laughter (at inopportune times). It is crazy. I can't express the amount of times I have just sat and thought, "What in fresh hades is this?!" So we have had many talks and for a time they would end with, "Do better. Be better." As time has gone on, that has carried over to both children for more than just emotional outbursts. Schoolwork and attitude in general. Sports. Whatever the situation is, this saying is taking over. Some people see this as a little harsh. Why must I be so mean to my kids? Yup. It's 2019. Not only is holding children accountable a terrible thing, but also expecting them to do better the next time. How dare I. We live in a society where a generation did what made them happy and now children are killing each other in schools. At least someone did something to make themselves happy. Sure, it will now lead to a far harsher punishment than a parent teaching right and wrong and giving a spanking, but they were true to themselves. I'm sorry. I'm trying not to puke all over my keyboard as I type this. Can we cut the crap out now? Why is it so wrong to expect children to do better than they have done previously? It isn't negating what has been previously done, it's continually raising the bar to greatness. This happens in sports all the time. You learn to shoot a basketball on a lowered goal or up close. Then the hoop is raised to full size and you slowly back up. Eventually, if you care enough to work on it, you can hit a shot from anywhere on the floor. It is the start of early education. First learn the letters. Then learn the sound(s) they make. Read words, sentences, books. The difference is that where most people let it be the end of expectations, I say no. But I don't do it only with my children. I only ask it of them, because I ask it of myself. True leadership is that you never ask someone to do something you aren't willing to do yourself. Everyday I have to tell myself to do better. When we do better, we can be better. Isn't that the goal of life? America is filled with people content with being stagnant. We get beaten a few times and figure there is never a way above, so we settle. What would life be like if we asked ourselves and loved ones to do better and to be better? What would society look like? I know what my house looks like when we are trying to be better people. We speak in love. We act in love. We hug and laugh. I know what our home looks like when we are actively trying to do better. We work harder. We seek help. I beg anyone that comes across this to do me a favor. Expect more. Expect more of yourselves, your spouses, your children, your grandchildren, your teachers, your friends. Don't get me wrong. Each person on that list and more will let you down. Learn forgiveness. And continue to expect. Push yourself and those around you. Make people better, but start with yourself. Do Better. Be Better.
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How many times have we asked for just some peace and quiet? Whether it is at work or at home, we always seem to be surrounded by noise. Constant noise drives me crazy. I don't mean music or even the TV, but jabbering children, car horns, leaf blowers, and the such that I deal with on a daily basis.
Tuesday morning I got up and decided to take a nice long walk. I've been enjoying my walking lately. Mornings, afternoons, evenings - it doesn't matter. Tuesday, when I woke up and began walking I was startled by the quiet. Here it is in March, and we are experiencing some "colder" weather - hey, it's cold for South Carolina, okay? With the drop in temperature it seemed everyone went back into hibernation. I live in a neighborhood where cars are out at all hours. Tuesday, none. As I walked one street, there is a grassy area before some wooded areas. These woods have been known to be a play area for kids with too much time and energy. When it's dark, I don't walk on the path near the woods for that reason. So a good distance off, in the midst of nothingness and wooded area, I hear a squeaking noise. Imagine the hollow squeaks of a swing after a child has been abducted in a freaky movie. That's what I'm hearing from the woods. I picked up my pace. I kept hoping for a car to turn the corner. It didn't happen. Just as the human life in the neighborhood ceased to exist, so did the animal life. Most mornings I pass by barking dogs all around. The sound of birds calling is refreshing - ooo ie ooooo ie oo ie oo ie. And this time of year I am bound to see a minimum of four rabbits in the distance that I walked. Yet it wasn't until about a mile and a half that I saw one solitary rabbit running out of the fence and down the alley. It was the lack of animals that really unnerved me. Animals have instincts that we cannot ignore. The only other time I have been out in my neighborhood and heard silence from animals was immediately after a hurricane passed. For a bit I began to worry that the animals were hiding from something more than the cold of the morning. Why is it that the quiet is so unnerving? In this day and age we beg for peace and quiet only to fill it with facebook videos or TV. Because we really aren't asking for quiet, we're asking to not hear specific people or things. When we have true quiet, that is when we are able to truly hear and think. It can be scary. Many alcoholics drink because they can't be left alone with their thoughts. They fight the feelings of unworthiness by killing their livers. For many, quiet means conviction. There's the nudge in the gut that points out our faults, not to judge, but to bring back to right. And if we aren't ready to be right, we drown out that voice. However, it's in the quiet that we are able to hear God. The Bible teaches that we must listen for the still small voice. The cliche of God is that He is a roaring angry God that booms with thunder. When He speaks to us, He speaks to our hearts. He whispers to our spirit. We need to turn off the noise to hear the word of God. He is a gentleman. And we have free will. Are we allowing our will to shut out God because we don't want to hear what He has to say? My guess would be a big fat yes. Too often we make the choice to drown out the whisper. Quiet is scary. Quiet is conviction. Quiet means we will hear. And if we hear, then we make the choice to obey, or walk away. It is now on us. Before we had the out to say that we never heard. Though Tuesday's quiet began to freak me out, I used the quiet to listen to God. There were fewer interruptions thanks to the quiet. Let us not fear the quiet, but run to it. Christianity has gone through quite a bit in the 2000 years it's been around. Persecution. Chosen Religion. Wars. Schisms. On and on it seems. The men and the women of the Bible have been through a great deal over the last 600 years or so. Well, I'm about to put them through some more.
From cover to cover, read the Bible and you will find heroes, heroines, losers, queens, kings, prophets, liars, priests, apostles, saints, leaders, followers, and more. From the high to the low we see it all, male and female alike. Studies are done on these men and women from all walks of life. Some of exonerated them far above their ranks. After all, these are just humans. Some people have chosen to pray to these saints of old. However, the Bible never teaches us to pray to other humans. Jesus himself teaches us to pray, and we are to pray to our heavenly father. I get it. I often wonder if I am making my grandparents proud. I might even say it, "I hope I still make you proud, Frumps." But I don't believe that he has the power to make any change in my life other than what he did while he was here on earth. We pray to God. He is the all powerful being. And that is not the job of the saints. Hebrews tells us that we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses. We are to be encouraged by this. But the crowd does not intervene on our behalf. Jesus is our intercessor. The Holy Spirit cries out with groans unknown by men. The saints, well, they're rejoicing. Over the last few decades, I have seen a great number of believes go in the exact opposite route. They have chosen to diminish these people. Paul was a murderer of Christians. Moses had a speech impediment. Peter was a loud mouth (my man). Mary enjoyed a romp in the sack. Jesus hung out with low lives. The flaws are just too great! How on earth could these people be worthy of Biblical proportion unless to scare us from it. *Clears throat* Uh, really? Can we not see what it really is. The fallible man is utterly important. He/she did great and wonderous things. Paul made such a drastic change - how does this not show the power of Christ? Moses didn't speak well, but boy was he heard and feared. Peter was a loud mouth, but spoke passionately in the Messianic church. Mary started off known in the bedroom, but became known for her deep love of Jesus that we have all wanted to sit and weep at his feet. And Jesus, Yeshua? Do I really need to go into details? Yes, this is a short blog, but I feel I need to be succinct in this. God uses the broken, beaten, stupid, unqualified, loud mouths to do great things. If we were so great, it wouldn't make such a big deal when we did great things. It's because we are so small, that God can do the greatest things. Like answer our prayers, big and small. Prayer is a mysterious thing. You've heard that, haven't you? I know I have. I don't like that word - mysterious. Let's define it, shall we? Mysterious (adj) from the root mystery: a religious truth known by revelation alone; something not understood or beyond understanding; enigmatic quality or character; a work of fiction dealing with the solution of a mysterious crime. Okay, I think we can rule out the fourth definition. I believe in earlier days the first definition might have been the use for the phrase. Prayer is indeed known through revelation. However, I feel led that people today choose this saying based off of the second definition - not understood and beyond our understanding.
What things do we pray for? Healing, money, job promotions, children, life. One person's baby lives, another dies. Both prayed. Prayer is a mysterious thing. Two people work hard. Both pray. One gets the job, the other doesn't. Or one gets a raise, the other doesn't. One gets the recognition, the other doesn't. Prayer is a mysterious thing. An addict recovers, another dies. Families have prayed. Prayer is a mysterious thing. Two people have cancer. One is healed. The other dies. Both prayed. Prayer is a mysterious thing. You see, we don't know what God is thinking. Why is one family forced to suffer while another experiences a miracle? It isn't "fair." Well, life is not fair. We see in the New Testament where it is asked, "Who sinned, the man or the man's parents?" Jesus replies that it is so people can see the power of God. When a child's life is lost - is it to show God's power? I think it can. I think followers can show that there will be joy after the mourning and thus reveal how the power of God can overcome our hurt and anguish. A person lives life with a deformity or mental instability, God's power can shine through. The issue at hand is often that God is 1- not a genie in a bottle to grant our every desire, and 2- the giver of free will. Free will brought a choice in the garden. That choice brought sin. Sin brought death, sickness, and destruction (continuing on through the generations). Free will means that God does not interrupt our daily comings and goings just because he can. So if we choose to live in anguish, sorrow, or anger, we often miss the joy that comes after pain. We miss out on healing and the presence of God. I don't necessarily believe that prayer is mysterious. Prayer is a conversation with God. Conversation means a two way street. We both speak and listen. Too many have chosen to speak without listening in this world. Shouting matches on news shows prove this nightly. The one who is quiet is considered weaker, unable to make their point heard. So we talk. We yell. We cry. But do we listen. I believe when we listen those mysteries are revealed. Just this week my car decided it wanted to break. Literally, pieces wore down until they were no more. Monday as life was racing and I was running out of time due to Babs (my jeep) wearing down and breaking, I decided to throw a hail Mary. (No pun intended.) I gave God the "I could really use a miracle right now" prayer. And with my head on the steering wheel I could hear the sweet laughter of God in my heart. "You know that's not how this worked," was whispered to me. I sat back knowing, God is not a mechanic (though he could be if he wanted to be). Of course, my prayer was met by the tow truck I called. Eventually things did work out okay. I did receive a miracle of sorts. All told I spent about $228 to fix up Babs. Not exactly great news, but in car world mechanics, that is hardly anything. My miracle prayer wasn't answered immediately - Here ya go, Jewel. Car is fixed. It was gradual - Do you trust me? Will you still praise me? You know I have this, right? In hearing the sweet laughter and knowing that my miracle prayer wouldn't work, I was given the ability to smile. I didn't form an angry mob against God because my gear didn't slip back into place. No, instead I relied on the well worn relationship that I have with my Father. I laughed with a, "I had to give it a try" when it was revealed that it wouldn't work. Prayer is a mysterious thing when we don't know who we're praying to. If God is some great giant being that we can never come to understand, so distant and far away that we don't know if he hears us, than prayer will always be a mystery. If we know our God and creator the way he wants us to there will still be mysteries untold. God is far too large for our feeble minds to fully comprehend. But it's our job to find out as much as possible. It's our job to engage in this relationship and not let it be a one sided love story. Prayer is also communication with God. God is three persons - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. When we choose a life with Christ, and the Holy Spirit dwells within us, that is where the communication comes in. We pray to God (Father) in most situations. I however, choose to yell, "Jesus take the wheel!" far to often. Jesus is said to be our intercessor. He goes before God with our requests. Perhaps that is one reason why I often "address" my prayers straight in the name of Jesus. The Bible teaches that we should ask in his name. Do it! Sheesh. When our answer comes to us, whether immediately or days, weeks, months, years, later, it is the Holy Spirit that interprets that answer. He reveals what God is teaching us and speaking to us. It is that still small voice not the announcement speaker we hope for. I believe this is God's main focus on communication with us so that we remember to shut our mouths to hear him. Prayer is not that mysterious when we dive into the mystery of God. The Bible tells us to "draw near to God and He will draw near" to us. We draw near by reading the Bible, praising his name, and praying to him. Prayer can be a mysterious thing, but it doesn't have to be. |
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