I've been doing well at posting weekly on Thursdays, but last week, alas, I failed. In case you have forgotten it was Thanksgiving. It has always been my favorite holiday. I know. Some of you just spit out your mocha latte's on that one. The girl who listens to Christmas music year round prefers Thanksgiving? Of course! The premise of Thanksgiving is gathering with loved ones, remind yourself to be grateful for all that you have, and eat more in one sitting than you normally do in three days. What is better than that?
Well, most people enjoy the popular, now commercialized, holiday of Christmas. I too enjoy the holiday. I love the music and the lights. I love the generosity of people. Maybe if everyday was like Christmas than there would be less need in the world. But instead we wait until after we are thankful to decide to give to those who need it in order to fill more space in our homes for our brand new, super awesome, blah blah blah. But I digress. There are a few avenues that this post could go down just simply on the title, but I'd like to keep it simple. A couple of nights ago my son asked me a question that I have loved to answer for over a decade. "Why do people write and 'X' for Christmas instead of Christ?" AH. Easy. X is the Greek word for Christ. So, we haven't taken out Christ, we have used an earlier language for an abbreviation. It's shorthand. Thank you Dr. Guerry for your wisdom so many years ago. Soon after learning that "X" is Christ, I was in Massachusetts on winter break getting some last minute presents when the topic arose in the line behind me. Two older women were up in arms over the amount of "Xmas" items found in the shop. "Why won't they just keep Christ in Christmas?" I didn't share my knowledge with them. I just smirked and stood there waiting to pay. Then the two old ladies began on the putrid words... "Happy Holidays." I know, I may even lose you too on this but hear me out. There is nothing wrong with store employees saying, "Happy Holidays." WHAT? How dare I? How dare I not assume that everyone celebrates Christmas? Why is this where we have decided to stand? I know that this is odd since I live in the Bible beating, I mean Bible belt. However, there are other religions in the world. Because of that, not everyone celebrates Christmas. I'll give you a moment to research any other religion that does not celebrate Christmas. Thanks, Google. I once owned a shop. During the holiday season I said, "Happy holidays" to an older woman. She stared me down, and through her gritted teeth she sneered the words, "Merry Christmas." Well, I will tell you, she has definitely kept Christ in Christmas. At no point do I require a person to wish me a Merry Christmas. Perhaps the employee at Publix or Wal-Mart or, dare I say it, Target is Jewish. What if that poor 18 - year old girl doesn't celebrate Christmas? This may just seem like a bunch of rambling, but I just can't get over the necessity of those two words. I can't get past the people that are furious over ignorance. Before I engage in conversations with people over this, I always feel a need to quiz people. Taking Christ out of Christmas? What religion did Christ practice? I ask people if they know where the symbol of the Jesus fish stems from. I know that we are all excited about the holiday season. I just didn't realize that meant that we had to ignore social graces. Happy holidays.
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Ah, Thursday morning. My weekly edition of what's going on in Jewel's brain. You're welcome, by the way. I know you are dying to know what is on my mind each week. So, here we go...
I have the same things on my to-do list Monday through Friday: quiet time, workout, read (non fiction), read (fiction), vocab, and write. These are on the calendar each and every day. Sometimes they are shuffled around appointments for training and tutoring. Sometimes they are pushed aside for readings at schools only to be picked up when given the chance. Saturdays keep the same to-do list without the vocab work. Sundays are simply quiet time and workout. Regardless, I have given these things a priority on my work schedule. Many people wonder why it's so important for me to read and find that I am using precious time I could use for literally anything else. However, my desire is to write and not just stay mediocre. I want improvement. Reading improves my writing. It helps me grow my sentence structuring and my placement. It helps me to improve my story lines and details. What approach did that author take that I should be taking? I like the use of color in those details, but I didn't like it in the other book. My mind grows through reading - as just about everyone's does. In my non-fiction reading I have been enjoying the diaries of C.S. Lewis. He has always been one of my top authors to read. I love what he does. This book begins in 1917 and continues through the 20's. During his life at this time he is trying to establish himself as an intellectual and writer that's worth something. He writes about the classes he attends and the papers he writes. He talks about the jobs he takes on as a tutor to help with income as he lives with a woman and her daughter almost taking the place of her son, whom Lewis became close to in service. There is talk of political issues and strikes. Eventually, he gets a spot as a fellow. He is now the one giving lectures and correcting papers. And then we see his first big poem accepted for publication and the raving reviews. He's quite detailed in his walks, whether taking the family dog or alone. You can picture the land he walks on and the weather that accompanies him. It was about 300 pages in of this 645 page book that I realized even more why I enjoyed this book. Yes, I have learned so much about his life from this journal of his, but it's more than that. I can see the times that he has failed turning in his poems to local publishers. He writes of his discouragement. Sometimes he doesn't write at all. The journal will end abruptly for one day and not pick up until the next month, or even longer. Each time there is a brief description of why Lewis did not continue writing in his journal before it continues on. That seems to be where I am these days. Always working and taking care of matters of the home that keep me from writing. Sending out what few things I have completed to whatever publishers will take a look. Wanting to walk through the country side, yet I don't get the time to walk around the block it seems. Correcting work of students. Taking on tutoring to help make ends meet. Holding a job for little pay. Always trying to sneak away to write and edit and get somewhere further along. At this point in time I have under 100 pages left to read in this monster of a book. This book will never reach the point of C.S. Lewis' success with The Chronicles of Narnia. I hold a book of 600 + pages that truly gives the life experiences that he had and it brings him out of the lofty air and turns him into a real human being. So often we look to the people we admire and figure them to be too far off from us. We forget the humanity of all of these people, whether their authors, athletes, or actors. Everyone is given opportunities. Not everyone takes them. Many people have to work daily for years unseen only to be recognized fully when they're gone from our midst. This is encouraging for me. I will probably always be a nobody for the outside world. Maybe something good will come out of my writing once I'm dead and gone. But for now, I can continue on my path knowing that I'm setting an example for my kids, showing them that there must be work to be done- even if it doesn't look like work to those around us. I might get judged and my kids will hear, but they will understand. I'm working for a purpose. So if you, too, feel a little deflated, don't worry. Even the greatest writers dealt with failure. Even Michael Jordan was cut from the JV team. Even actors get booted from roles, or not selected at all. Just keep working. Just keep submitting. Just keep your focus and step forward. Is it just me or is there confusion? Not a little, but an insane amount of communication errors that lead to more and more confusion. No this isn't about the elections and fake news. Not my soap box. It's just that more and more times my life has more stress because of confusion by myself of someone I've been speaking with.
My shining example is with my neurologists office. When my medication ran out I called it in to the pharmacist. They called for doctor authorization and for the first time ever, received a "no." I was not informed of this until I tried to pick up the medication. I called the doctor's office and was told I was not given the medication because I didn't go in for my follow up after a test. Well, the test hadn't been done so how could I get the follow up done? Needless to say, the medication was called into the pharmacist. When my husband went to pick it up, it was wrong. Well, half of it was right. They didn't have an order for the other. Oy. Now the miscommunication came between me and my husband. He was told I needed to call the doctor. I thought he said they needed to call the doctor. So I waited for the call for over a week. Yup. Then he and I spoke again and I realized I needed to call. So I did. I didn't get a call back. I waited for two days then called the office again. They never received the message. When I spoke to the nurse about the medication she figured it out. The original message was mis-delivered. She was told I only needed half of the medicine. A series of people not hearing what was said has led to two weeks of increased pain. Why do I share this? For sympathy? Nah. I'll live. There are worse things in the world. However, it is a clear indication that there is a force at work that wants things to be misheard. How do I know? When I am in pain, my mental state goes down - you know, things like patience and helpfulness, nothing that a mama ever needs! This week my little guy has been knocked down with some unknown virus. Fever going back and forth. Today has been inexplicable pain in his chest (something I know of all too well.) And he refuses to use his words, he must burst into tears when he was fine just moments ago. And what is my reaction? Well, how long can I be a good mom before my own pain mixes with my inability to handle his outbursts? I won't answer that question. You may be thinking, "Who cares? So you're in pain and he's in pain and everybody is miserable." This is true, but it matters a great deal. Our interactions as parents will shape our children's lives immensely. We don't ever want our children to grow up thinking that if they're sick their mom will be mad or upset or too tired to care for us. But due to the circumstances poor attitudes have grown in this house. This is Satan's playground. This is where he destroys years of love and affection for moments of rash judgments. And yet, isn't it with him that all of this started? The Bible calls Satan the Prince of the air. Ever wonder why? I'll let you know exactly why. When he has the opportunity to cause confusion and miscommunication, chaos ensues. Where chaos reigns, Jesus and peace do not. Satan is a liar. Lies and spoken words travel through the air. He twists things and changes things so we don't know what is going on! And he sits back and laughs. There is a main point I take away from this- confusion is important to Satan. Miscommunication is important to him. When he can cause an ounce of confusion he has less and less work to do to destroy people. Destruction can be physical as it is with my lack of medication. It can be emotional as I spaz out from stress. It can be relational and sever the ties between friends or family. I picked up on this when I was in high school. My mother and I always seemed to be on edge around each other. She had issues. I had issues. And here was the kicker: we both were trying to live for God. When you have that in a household, there needs to be something to knock you off course. If that doesn't happen, Satan knows he will lose. If we can add to our issues by separations and arguments than he can win some battles, knowing that he's lost the war. Have you had that happen? How many times have you thought that someone said something about you only to find out it never happened? When have you been accused of something that ended up being pointless and useless? Then you sit around wondering what in the world caused all of that and why it happened. The answer is often something that we just don't want to think about. We don't want to believe that 1- Satan is real, 2- Satan is active, and 3-Satan is okay with messing up your life. Over the last few years I have come to realize that we avoid talking about the supernatural realm because it scares us. Yet the Bible clearly tells us that our battles are not in flesh and blood but in the spiritual realm. We need to start looking into the heart of things. We need to begin looking at our world and finding the times that there is actually someone coming against us. It isn't poor luck. It isn't a force of nature. There is someone trying to disrupt the lines of communication on a regular basis. The more we know it, the more it tries to hide, but the truth is steady. Fight the fight on the right level and break through the communication barriers. Well, last night was Halloween. I sat on my porch and handed out treats of CheezIts and Rice Krispee Treats. I did not say anything to adults choosing to grab snacks for children home sick or those little ones too small to eat the goodies. I kept it to myself (for once). However there were two children that I couldn't hold my tongue with. One small child, maybe five years old, decided to tell me, "You didn't even decorate. All you did was this, and this." As he pointed to some pumpkins. My response was, "Do you want this or not?" He replied that he did so I said, "Then don't go judging my decorations." No, we don't go all out for Halloween. We went with simple fall decorations of scarecrows, pumpkins, and mums. What does this kid care what my decorations look like. I'm handing him free food! The second kid was some snot that yelled across the street at his mother. She had said, "Hey, don't just walk across the street!" To which he felt the need to snarl back, "I've done it all night," with such a tone I almost smacked him. I asked him if that was his mother and he said it was. I then told him, "Don't you ever talk to her like that again. She is looking out for your safety there is no need for that attitude." He did the "Yes, ma'am" of the south, took his treat with a thank you and left. I hate Halloween. Don't get me wrong, I love candy - probably too much- and the kids have fun, but I cannot stand the way other children are with this holiday. One of the reasons we have eased off on decorations is because the kids would walk through the strung pumpkin lights and break them. The kids knock things over as they run from yard to yard. It's not like our yards are huge. The sidewalk is about 12 feet away from the front step. I can't stand the disrespect of people's property. I never have, never will. I mean, let's face it, you all know my feelings on other people's children. This is clearly not a holiday for me. The issue I have with many areas is this whole I-can-say-whatever-I-feel-like-whenever-I-feel-like-it syndrome in this world. I would never have just told someone they weren't decorated properly. And if they had withheld my treat, I would have understood. The generation being raised, my generation, and half of the generation above me is living in a time of trouble. My parents generation was brought up in a split. When Dr. Spock came out with his notion of feelings are better than discipline, my grandparents generation made the choice to either go with the doctor, or follow the teachings of King Solomon and the book of Proverbs. (In case you don't know about King Solomon, I encourage you to read 1 Kings. You don't even have to do the background information in Samuel, just the beginning of 1 Kings will teach you enough to see where King Solomon received his wisdom and so much more.) So here comes this doctor saying not to spank children because it messes with their identity and a large number of people decide, "Yeah, this sounds so much better than what the Bible teaches! I'm in." And then we have a generation of never being told no. That generation produced a far greater amount of "Get what I want's" than the previous. It changes how we speak to people and how people speak to us. My son enjoys The Little House on the Prairie series. At one point he asked why it was such a big deal for Laura to be able to speak to her parents. I explained that it was how things were. Not even that long ago were children to be seen and not heard. As a parent, I completely understand why!! Oh my goodness! When you are home all day with your little ones, and your little ones are observant, they know all of your business. They have no problem butting into conversations with your spouse, or letting other people know what is said in your house. We went from generations of not talking - both good and bad as it kept kids in place, but taught everyone how to sweep issues under the rug. Now we have two generations of speak your mind. Offense looms around every corner. Emotions run unchecked. Opinions are given freely and unsolicited. Voting was once a secret, now everyone shares their agenda. Kids were once polite and respectful, now their atrocious and bratty. No, this wasn't supposed to be a post of nothing but a rant against disrespectful kids. There is a point. When we began our journey into homeschooling, I noticed a terrible tendency that my son had. When something wasn't going well he would begin to whine. "It doesn't make sense! It isn't right!" That's it, son. The book is wrong, not you. The problem isn't right. I noticed that he could never be right. And the attitude that came with it was, well, unbecoming. So I created a little street light image with words in each color. Red: Stop. Yellow: Think. Green: Respond. Simple principle (biblical even) but it gets the point across. Before you lash out at me because you don't understand the problem, gather your thoughts and come speak to me so we can resolve your issue. Things went from (insert whiniest voice here) "There's a proooobleeeemmm..." to "Mom, I'm having trouble with..." We took care of two problems in one swoop. We changed the whining to speaking and we changed the mindset from the issue being with the book or question to Caleb taking ownership of his lack of understand and need for help. The stop, think, respond tactic was also good for AJ in her reactions. Caleb would nudge her or do something accidentally and she would get upset and hit him. Now, I'm ok with a little aggression, and boy will she need it when she is older, but there is just no need for that in the house over nothing. So if he would bother her, she too needed to stop, think, and respond. She would pause and say, "Caleb you hit me." And he would apologize and they would go on. Y'all, this isn't rocket science. And I'm not telling everyone to "Stick Baby in the corner," with a red butt. I'm simply wondering why we can no longer hold our children accountable. I can't figure out why parents are alright with their child being rude. I'm mortified when my kids speak rudely. Parents, if you're still reading this, you probably don't have the issue, but take control of your child. It doesn't take a village, it takes you holding them accountable for their actions and words. |
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