As you may well know my husband and I made a decision two years ago to homeschool our children. Well, to homeschool my son. We are giving the option of public schooling to our daughter, but she has continually said that she wants to be home with us. I find that endearing.
Many people choose this method of education for a variety of reasons. Ours was neither political nor religious, just that we knew our son needed more of a challenge. So here we are. My kids are always on the move going through material not always covered at their level or in this manner. But honestly, it's hard. Well, it is for us. Many people choose to do online schooling from their home, not us. Others give workbooks and have their kids read a bunch and then it seems like their always on a field trip. Well, that is a bit more like us. We made the decision that what we were going to do had to be for the best for our children. But like I said, it's hard. Writing lesson plans can be extremely fun when it is interactive learning. Unfortunately for myself, my son knew too much already and so we basically had him testing out of material for a while with me teaching little things here and there. Not fun at all. He and my daughter both love workbooks, but I feel they don't get as much out of it. It's busy work. Desk job. Bleh. Don't get me wrong, workbooks make teaching so much easier. But I want more. We're coming up on "purchase curriculum" time. A tremendous spending effort to maximize my children's education. Last week my son and I dove into civil rights in a way that couldn't be done in public school, and definitely not done through workbooks. We took original texts and documentaries and turned it into discussions, vocabulary, free reading, essays. Oh the possibilities. It's in those moments that I see just how smart my kids really are. It isn't in the texts or workbooks. It's in real life. It's the countless moments or connections and realizations that I can see their brains firing up and taking in life. Early on in his life, I taught Caleb how to bake cookies. (Science and Math rolled into one!) It was those early workings of fractions and distributions that I saw my son come alive in learning. My daughter has been quite similar. The connections they draw are remarkable. Why do we not encourage this more often? Well, I suppose that's what we're going for with the choice to home school. How about us as adults? What about us as Christians? We have been given raw materials - the Bible and the Holy Spirit that should be consuming us like a fire. Yet we cling to the institution of education - Church or worship gatherings. We go to countless workbooks to test and challenge our knowledge. We meet with others weekly or not. And of course we have our field trips, I mean retreats. How often do we home school ourselves? Do we dive on in to the Word? When was the last time you locked yourself in the prayer closet and prayed for an hour or more? I'm not saying that corporate worship is bad. We are to gather together. We feed each other and hopefully serve each other with love the way Christ did. I'm not against retreats or groups or workbooks or devotionals as a whole. I'm against that being the only way we decide to grow as Christians. I refuse to believe this is the best we can do! These other resources should not be our main source of connection to God. We should be our main connection. Last week I shared some on the abortion issue. The main point was that we as Christians are upset that the world is doing worldly things. How do my children draw the best conclusions? They dive into real life experiences and connect the book work to life. That is what so many Christians are missing today. We either have institutionalized busy workers or home school hippies taking field trips and nothing more. We need to put it all together. We need the firm foundation of the Bible rooted deep within our souls as we go on into the world making connections between the Word of God and what is happening around us. Take a field trip - to grow not to socialize. Go to worship gatherings and worship while sitting next to someone, not alone in a row of seats. Join a group study and really dive into your relationship with God and others, and then go into the world and apply the knowledge. Lock yourself in your room to pray. Stay and fuel up in prayer and praise. Then attack the world the way it is attacking you and everyone else. Become home schoolers for Jesus. Please.
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"So did you see about New York?"
"See what?" *blank stare* "I only see what I see at work." "It's all over Facebook. Oh wait. I'm guessing you aren't friends with a vast majority of conservatives on Facebook like I am." "Probably not." This was the beginning of the conversation that began our dinner time chat the other night. Although we are both from Massachusetts, I went to a Southern Baptist university. Don't get me wrong, I have friends on Facebook from all over the sides of the aisle with a diverse background. But I do have quite a few people that have become my Facebook comrades from attending the previously mentioned school. This means that the majority of my feed is from the latter and not the first. Y'all, times are tough. The world is a scary place and things are getting scarier. Whatever side of the coin you're on, I think we can all agree on the fact that this world is difficult and becoming more so each day. The problem with the legalization of abortion in New York is that there are so many issues at hand. The glaringly obvious elephant in the room is that it is now okay to terminate the life up until birth. I'm sorry. I've been a momma twice now. I have carried two children. I struggle to think that any woman would not feel the connection between herself and that child up until the day of birth regardless of the pain that may be associated with that pregnancy. I truly find that difficult to swallow. However, the issue of abortion is not a two sided coin to be flipped. I understand that there are issues at hand. Over the years when someone would ask, "What if you were raped? What would you do? Do you want that child to grow up knowing that they came from rape?" I would simply reply, I have not been impregnated due to rape. I can't image the mental, physical, and emotional struggles that come up with this scenario. For me, I feel that I would carry full term because I couldn't handle the thought of taking another human's life. From there, whether I put the child up for adoption or not would vary based upon where I happen to be in life, I suppose. I had a different view in high school, college, and as a wife and mother. There are medical conditions that the doctors suggest ending the fetus's life for the sake of the fetus. I have a second hand connection to this. A friend and his wife were pregnant with their second. They received word that the child would have a lessened life span and lower quality of life due to the medical condition diagnosed. They had an insanely difficult decision ahead of them. I won't say it was the cause of their divorce, but I bet this topic came up during the long nights. I have never personally met a woman that had an abortion and thought, "I'm so glad I did it." Again, that is my personal never met her. If it's you, let's grab a coffee. I'd love to chat. Regardless of stance, this is now a hot issue once again. And to be honest, I didn't plan on writing this much on it. My intention was much simpler. Christianity is always under attack. Christians are always under attack. (If you aren't that means Satan ain't worried about you, so you might want to start worrying.) Even still, Christians become outraged by the decisions of our government. I continually sit and say, "Duh." Our government is not a Christian entity. We may have Christians signing papers in things, but that is not the majority. And even still, becoming a Christian government is never going to happen. Fellow Christians, our fight is not against flesh and blood. It never has been and never will be. When we turn issues into screaming matches, or typing escapades, we do little to have our view heard/read. Yes, I see the irony in this. And I hope that people will see where the real issue is - human hearts. I try not to say too much, because I hope to live what I want to say. We need to be doers of the Word, not merely readers, or even shouters. Want to end abortion? Raise kids lovingly and wholeheartedly letting others see the good, the bad, and the broken. Adopt. Foster. Take in the kids that need a home. I long for the day where we can do this ourselves. But with Christians messing up families and foster care overcrowding, why would someone who is not ready be willing to carry that child? They see hopelessness. If we want our words to hold weight, we must act. Being a mother means needing to understand clingy-ness. This has never been my area of expertise. I know, I heard your collective gasps. No, I enjoy my freedom and independence. (2 pts for those that see a movie reference.) When I was making the decision to go into teaching I knew that I could not go into an elementary school. Little kids smacking you on the leg with snot filled noses was the last thing I wanted.
Let me begin by saying this title is exclusively so that you have it stuck in your head all day as well.
Being a mom in 2010's and beyond is far different than any other time. Why? Social media and smart phones. I have seen countless memes and posts on Facebook and Instagram on the life of a mom. Often times things are humorous. Sometimes things are sad. Posts range from judgmental to uplifting. It's an odd time to be a mom. Dirty laundry is aired on feeds, and sometimes that's literally a picture from a friend. Social media was driven by the concept of connecting with others through our favorite screens. I grew into this idea of being able to keep in touch with people. As a young woman 14 hours away from home I was all about it. MySpace created a world where we could learn more about where everyone is and what they're doing. I enjoyed it. I found friends from high school, and new friends in college found me. As we have built our walls of friendship in the online domain, the parameters have shifted. Social media has become a place of venting frustrations, voicing opinions, sharing victories, and sharing products. This has created a world where the stay at home mamas are not alone! I look back to my early childhood and think about where my mother had a chance to vent about us kids. There were limited options - grandparents, Bible studies/church, scheduled dinners with friends, and waiting at the school to drop off and pick up her rugrats. Eventually, she would have the time to get out with friends and shop or sip coffee in a living room, but her friends typically were not ones that were in the same position as she was. Either one child had a school mate their age, and the parent had one older than my brother or younger than myself. Or sometimes the friends were working. For other stay at home moms, their husbands worked office jobs with salaries, not the work for yourself and hope they pay you on time, like my father. The differences created some struggles within friendships at times, but at least she had friends. Today, moms put their business out there. Readers are either judgy and rude or in total agreement. Mothers typically either know that they aren't getting comments because people don't agree or because they know the situation, but don't want to admit it. It becomes a world of knowing only what others want us to see. The older generations only had this when it was in person. The child having a meltdown would be dealt with in person and the viewers would praise or condemn in person. This is where mothers learn to low talk and put the fear of God in their children with only whispers. But even this shows that we are different people when other people can see us than when we are home with the children and can say what we want, scream, cry, or dare I say it, spank. I was once told that character is who you are when no one else is around to see. Those words were etched on my heart in college when my accountability was myself and God. I see it now in parenting - with myself and others- as we put up the front to present to the world the person that has it all together while we secretly cry in our closet with the Keebler Elf cookies that we hide from the people making us cry. Those walls are slowly coming down with the help of social media. I recently read a post from a young mom (both she and the child are young) that spoke of the struggles of being a stay at home mom. The first person to comment on her post was her step mother. She said how her generation didn't get the chance to express their emotions like her step daughter's could. She wished that she would have known that others felt the same exhaustion, fear, shame, hurt, and countless other issues stated. This mama believed that she was alone in how she felt and it burdened her. Who knows what type of mother she would be if she had known she wasn't alone. She doubted who she was because she felt alone. Who are you when it's just you? Who are you in your home, alone with children or your spouse? Are you a different person than the one that shows up at family events? In today's world it is becoming more available to be the person that social media shows to the world. Perhaps I should say, it is becoming more available to show the world the person you actually are. Being a mother makes you take a hard look at who you are and who you want your children to see you as. I hope that we are the people we want to be, and if we aren't, I hope we're taking steps to becoming the people we want to be. I am afraid of spiders. I know, I probably shouldn't tell people that, but here it is. All on the line.
Growing up in Massachusetts, I remember an assignment where I had to learn about different spiders. I was fascinated by the Funnel Spider. Just as it sounds, the spider would create its web in the shape of a funnel. They were supposed to be poisonous and not good for us humans, but they were still cool. We had a basement, as northerners do, and it held our bikes. This was a bit of a pain in the butt. Most people just had a garage and the bikes were in there. Nope, if I wanted to ride, I needed to go down to the basement, open the bulkhead doors, and get my bike up the stairs (maybe six of them). One day, while the bulkhead doors were opened for me to get my bike out, I noticed the funnel shaped web. No spider was there so I peeked at the web. The intricacy was quite captivating. Day after day I would say hello to the web with a healthy distance just in case the owner was in it. Until one day the web was gone. I assume my father got rid of it either on purpose or from bringing work items in or out of the basement. Soon after, the spider returned. Well, the web was there. I never actually saw the spider, thankfully. Here in the south, I am unlucky enough to know that brown recluse and black widows are just outside my window. I have killed some very large spiders. And I have chased down those little jumpy black spiders with the white on them. I don't know what they are called besides annoying. Having my gym in the garage means that the biggest spiders I see are out there. Bodies are think as if they are coming for some cardio. Some with babies. I killed multiple spiders with babies that scurry in every direction once I have sprayed the mother with Lysol to stun her and slow her down. It seems that spiders really love it down here. Too bad I do not love spiders. I have two responses to spiders. One is "Ah! Kill it!" The other is "Ah! I'm need to kill you!" You see, we all know that in fight or flight, my body chooses fight. However, sometimes I am not prepared to kill a spider. For example if I'm bare footed, or there is no weapon close by. I don't mind being the one to lay it to rest as long as I have a weapon. If I am unprepared, I stand guard and watch it until someone can get me something to kill it. I will not let one slip by me. THAT is more frightening. Recently I was out in the garage working out. I lay down on the mats to do my core warm ups and I see something. It is either a large spider or a leaf. The last time I had this scenario, it was indeed a large spider. And I didn't get the chance to kill it, but it was disinfected, and probably pissed off. I lived in fear for a few days waiting for it to drop onto me and bite. This time I felt assured it was a leaf, as we had the garage door open for bikes the afternoon before. Still, I needed to know for sure before I could continue. I popped up, keeping my eyes on the suspect. Immediately I knew. It was a leaf. I stepped over. I kicked it. No worries. It's funny, but that seems to be how life is all the time. We don't have spiders on our radar and BAM! we have something. First reactions kick in. Adrenaline courses through our veins. We need to make a decision. For so many people the first reaction is an over-reaction. We give ourselves the worst case scenario. We throw out horrendous conclusions. And all from what? Our minds turn leaves into spiders. Our perspective changes from everything is safe to DANGER! GIANT LIFE TAKING SPIDER! in less than a second. Years ago Joyce Meyer wrote a book, "Battlefield of the Mind." I have not read it, but I love that title. Our minds are a constant battlefield whether we know it or not. If more people knew it, lives would be changed. We make conscious and subconscious decisions regularly that decide for us our perspective. Do we fear people's responses? Do we long for signs of affirmation? We take natural emotions and heighten them. Why? Well, because the devil knows that if we can get off kilter by one degree, he doesn't have a battlefield, he has a playground. As someone who has battled depression for a lifetime, I can say that I have heard the voices telling me how I was a terrible individual that people hate, and following it up with rational thought - "Did they tell you they thought you were terrible? When did they say they hate you? Where is this thought coming from?" Now, honestly, it is because I changed my view on my mind that rational thoughts began to come and defend. Each and every day. Each hour. Minute by minute. Perspectives change. They change with knowledge. They change with wisdom. They change with experience. We have the power to change our perspective if we're willing to get off the floor and investigate if we have a leaf or a spider. |
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May 2023
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