Can I just be honest? Most days I want to sit on the couch and knit. I want to throw on a movie and put my feet up. I want my hands to move deftly as a scarf, hat, or other knitted creation comes to life. But those days are few and far between.
These days are filled with schoolwork, lesson planning, training, and tutoring, not to mention writing to my 2 loyal blog readers. There is something about a lazy day with needles in my hands. Time passes and before I know it I'm supposed to be cooking dinner, but alas, I'm slacking at that. I don't mind all the things I listed above. In truth, I love each of those things, though at varying degrees. The work I do is not in vain. So why the desire to be an old lady when I haven't hit 35, yet? The peace. There is immeasurable peace when you get those days of sitting and knitting. Sure, I would like to watch chick flicks or my favorites, but Saturday afternoons with college football on, the windows open, and knitting needles in my hands is pretty close to heaven. (College football? I must be living in the south too long!) Seriously, what can be better than being productive while resting? Hmm... Is that the true reason? There is something within me that continually wants/needs to work. There are many times that my mind won't shut off at night. I'm too busy planning and working. My mind wants to fix the problems of the day and try to set the next day off right, while never getting sleep. Sounds good, right? Nope. But that shows me how often I choose to work. In my defense I usually do those things when I have chosen time with my loved ones, or when I'm hoping to get things done early so I can have more time to relax or play. Even still, it proves where my heart is. I want to be working. I work a good bit for a stay at home mom who is homeschooling two children. It isn't always the clients either, which makes it difficult to see. I'm a paper person. Put it in writing. Let me see what has been done. When my client list is 4 deep in a day, that's only 4 hours of work. Not much. Factor in the other activities, it takes up a good bit. And I can write it on my schedule. How do I add all the intangibles of work that happen in a day? Do I need to write, "make lunch for kids" or "feed the hungriest 6 year old ever every 2 hours" to my planner? It's a mind game. When I stop and think about all I do in an average day, I know that I work plenty. Why knit then? Well, I guess it's the best of both worlds. I get to be productive, and at the end of the project see my finished work. I also get to relax and enjoy some peace. If you don't knit, let me fill you in a bit. You need proper space for the needles. You need a place for your yarn. You need to sit just the right way. Ok, so I have knit in the car, standing at a desk, and other random places, but when you knit to relax on the couch or in the recliner, those needs are optimal. I can rest knowing that what I'm doing while I relax could potentially help my family. That reminds me - you need a scarf?
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We have all heard the wise words - Nothing good happens after the words "watch this" and "hold my beer" are spoken. First of all, that is a lie. Now, it may not be good for the person saying the words, but it usually means something hilarious for the rest of us is about to go down.
I feel like in today's society, parents everyone are saying, "Hold my kid," while we all just sit back and watch. The problem is, it isn't nearly as funny. Sure, the parent might get a shot to the junk, but usually it's from a meltdown/tantrum that we all first have to listen to. Seriously not as fun. But alas, I see it all the time. I hear it. My husband hears it. There's this whole mindset that parents just have to birth them, feed them, and get them to someone else - daycare, preschool, school, aftercare, just not with them. As teachers, my husband and I have heard continually that it's our job to teach, and "that's why I bring them to you." Ok, yes, it is a teacher's job to teach. The job is to educate students in courses that will benefit them in the future. And moreso, as educators, we do want to impact lives in more than just their academic abilities. Teachers desire to mold our youth into caring, smart, thoughtful, helpful, leaders. The problem lies in the hand off, and the mentality that goes behind it. Parents should be the first teachers. Letters, numbers, manners and common courtesy are better accepted by children when it comes from the home. The next problem that arises is that parents today were raised by parents who decided to listen to Dr. Spock and his poppycock. (See, rhyming. A thing taught to children.) So parents today don't understand how to handle children. They were brought up with "do what feels right to you" instead of, "Timmy, let's sing the ABC's." Parents are handing off their children to others to raise them. Why? Ok, I give, some parents just plain aren't good at parenting. But they should work to improve instead of just handing off the "chore" of their children. You can't tell me that all these bad parents had kids that were surprises. Parents need to step up to the plate. It's difficult to raise good kids. It's difficult to teach them anything. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Too bad we don't have enough tough parents out there. I understand that many parents are working outside the home. I understand the limited time with children. But that just means you need to take another step and work a little harder. Kids need to know where you draw the line. They need to have expectations. It's interesting. I hear a variety of things from a variety of people. Parents, aunts, grandparents, teachers, and others that all have come to the same conclusions. When you put in the work (also known as being the bad guy) when kids are young, there is less work to do as you get older. I sure hope that's true. I feel like I work myself to the bone for my kiddos these days. I hope that as they grow up, there is less work to be done. So why doesn't everyone work this way? So many people are all too willing to let the schools do the work. Parents are content with other people raising their children. I'm sorry, but I don't know this teacher or their mindset. What things could they be teaching my children that I don't want them to learn? Ok, I've given my two cents. Parents, I beg you, stop letting other people raise your children. Stop letting society decide your child's moral values. Step up to the plate. Work hard. Be the parent they want and need. So the problem with Facebook is that it is learning us. It creeps me out. All the adds on my feed are 1. Fitness, 2. Writing, and 3. Homeschooling books. Yikes. Yup, I guess that's where I am these days. Thank God they haven't figured out my addiction to yarn, beads, clay & glass. Our budget can't afford all that mess!
Anyway, because of this, my news feed is full of the latest fads and "science proven" weight loss tips. Here's the thing, guys, nothing has changed! Ok, we know some more than they did 100 years ago, but overall the concepts are the same. Many people have asked me about my certification. I went through ACE - The American Council on Exercise. Why? Because they're the best. Plain and simple. And ya know what else? They get it! They do the research. They find the science and read the journals. They do the work. And the pass it to people in two ways - the science based and the easy to understand. So what do we do? What is HIIT?? How do I carb cycle? AAAHHHHH!!! The madness! Ready for it? Keep it simple. Watch what you eat. I always advise people to journal what and when they eat for two weeks to a month before they make any changes. Why? We need to know where we're starting from. Then we adjust to how we need to eat. Don't do fad diets. We know the yo yo experience is not what you're after. Eat a balanced diet. This includes carbs, people. I cannot tell you how many people have tried to cut carbs only to lose muscle mass and energy. I think of it in terms of this - If God made it for us to eat, that's good enough for me. Bread was in Genesis, bread can be in Jewel. But seriously, all of these diets are not the best thing for you. We need to look at long term goals. I remember the first time I had to lose weight. I lost 5 pounds in a week. Flying high! Well, that was until I realized it was water weight. And that was long before the days of drinking 84 oz or more each day. Losing 5lbs in a week is ok, if you're starting out at 300+ lbs. When we look to what we want for the rest of our lives, we need to see that we don't want these diets that kill our metabolism. We don't want to exclude food groups, when clearly we know that our body needs these components to function at its finest. Slow and steady wins the race. I have seen too many do well only to fall off the wagon and roll into some extra pounds of fat. If it looks too good to be true, it probably is. And please, no more of this conversation: Random person: I don't eat carbs. Me: That sucks. RP: No. Carbs turn into fat if you don't use them. Me: Uh, ok. So you won't eat an item that will turn into fat IF it isn't used, but you will eat fat which does nothing to turn into fat. RP: Yeah, carbs turn into fat. Me: FAT IS FAT. Also, the carbs that "turn into fat" are stored as the fat that is the first line of fat to be burned up through exercise. However, carbohydrates are also used for so many other processes like clearing out toxins released during exercise into the blood stream. Carbohydrates help regulate us. Oh, there is just so much that we need from carbs. But those fats that you're eating will find a good home on your body as well. Oh yeah, enjoy burning your protein because you don't have enough carbohydrates in your system to get the fat burning process started. I'm sure your lean muscle mass will be awesome. Exercises are no different. We hear about HIIT workouts being the "new thing." Sorry to burst bubbles, but that's not new. It's just that the public didn't know what the exercise style was called. Everything has been separated into cardio or strength, but clearly there are different options within those two headings and some that put together both. All these new exercises are not new. Oh how I love the pinterest posts with how to burn belly fat or to tone the booty. How many of them have high knees?! People, if doing high knees is new to you, it simply means you didn't play any high school sports. Sorry. The constant apps that rotate through exercises and plans. Nothing new. Don't get played by companies trying to earn a buck off of you. Ask questions from real people with real experience and knowledge. Find someone, or really a network of people, that can help you along your health journey. Now, you will need to find what works for you. If you are built long and lanky, it will be difficult for you to do plyometrics and harder strength. If you're built like a tank, use it. Your body will tell you what you need as you go. There won't always be one thing. You will go through stages. Be open to those changes. Be willing to grow as your body changes. Fuel it for what you need. Longer distances in running? Stack those carbs. Power lifting? Hit the protein. Do what you need, not what someone else needs. Happy journeying. Dear Mikayla,
We never met. I never held you, or saw you in person. In fact, until all of Summit knew, I didn't know there was an issue inside you. However, I prayed for you. I prayed so much. I prayed in a way I had never prayed before. Even though we never met, I couldn't deal with the idea of losing you. It just wouldn't be fair. Unfortunately, God's answer to that was no. I was miserable. I was bitter and angry. I didn't understand how God could take you. I didn't believe that God would allow such a wonderful couple as your mom and dad to go through this. No, it wasn't fair. I gave up. I completely and utterly gave up on prayer. Why? Because it seemed that everything I prayed for so fervently was answered with a big fat no. And that just pissed me off. Then I began reading your mom's posts. Yes, she was/is hurting. Yes, there was pain and confusion. But there was always hope and faith. I had given up on prayer in my anger, but your mom was standing. I gotta say, I would not have been as strong as your mom. And one day, I heard God say, "You were bitter so she wouldn't be." I never asked your mom about it. Maybe she was more bitter than I ever knew, but it made me think of Galatians 6 that says we should bear each others burdens. Perhaps that is what I was allowed to do. Either way, I am very much drawn to your little life, and your parents. I cannot pretend to know what they go through every day. I just know that I am broken hearted for them continually. We know you are at peace, but sometimes it doesn't help. So as I'm drawn to you and your life story, I have been doing some crazy (for me) physical activities. I did a crossfit workout or WOD in your memory. It was kind of fun. I crushed the 5k, and that made me feel a little better about myself. Now, I have signed up for a half marathon. You know you must be special. For years I have said that I will never do anything longer than a 10k, and here we are. I ran 10.4 miles Monday morning to begin preparing myself for November. I kept thinking of you. I kept running for you. No, sweet child, I never met you. You don't know me. But please know, you are in my heart. And I will do whatever I can to run the best I can for your memory and your legacy. I know that you could and would have done great things if you were allowed to stay with us. Now your short month on earth will leave an impact all over the earth. We will not let your life be in vain. Thank you for your inspiration. Thank you for showing us all how to fight. You're forever in my heart, ~J Alright, boys and girls, here we go again. Hurricane season is upon us and we must make crucial decisions. Go or stay. Wait or hurry. Pack or throw together. Panic or stay calm.
I have lived in the Charleston, SC area for 14 years now. I have watched hurricanes pass by, pass through, and weaken. I have seen them strengthen and enlarge. I have watched hours and hours of preparations being made, only for it to miss what was forecast. I get it. You can't predict it. God knows where it will go. He knows how fast and hard those winds will take it. He gives and takes away. So why do we panic? We panic because we don't know. We don't choose to trust. We don't have faith that the least likely predication of going out to see will actually be what happens. Why should we? We have been shown over and over again that the storms can come in and destroy all we know and love. So we scurry around filling gas tanks and buying all the water we can see. We book hotel rooms hours away - praying that the storm doesn't turn and then trap us in that hotel while our homes are perfectly safe and sound. Then we worry that we're being looted. (Thank God I have nothing of value to loot!) Every time a storm comes our way I have this incredible sense of peace. I'm not quite sure what it is. I don't know if it's my built in trigger of fight or flight, and since I can't fight I choose not to let it have power over me. Maybe it's the knowledge that people around me need peace and so I carry it. Sure I follow the weather. Yes, I check to see the paths. I want to be knowledgeable. Shouldn't we all want that? But over and over and over again I see people panic. What is the point? What gain have we by panicking? Where does worry leave us? I know that what I say will be of no use to those who worry over natural disasters. Don't tell someone to calm down in the midst of emotions. But to my fellow calm, cool, collected people, we must continue to keep the peace. There must be order in one way or another. If I could be honest with you, I would tell you that I don't want to evacuate ever. Now, that's not to say I want my family here. If this thing takes a path that is coming for us, get out. Get out now. No questions asked. Go to Tennessee and enjoy a vacation. Ok. Don't do that. I want to go, too. But not during a storm. I want to be here. If the roof gets ripped off and the water heater (which is in our attic) gets blown over and five rooms are destroyed by that, if the rain comes in, if flood waters rise, I want to know. I want to see it first hand and combat it as quickly as possible. I don't want to drive hours away to "be safe" and come back to a disaster area. I don't want to spend those days wondering what my house looks like or wondering what caused the destruction. I want to know. It comes back to that knowledge thing. I'm calm, because I'm in the know. Maybe I'm crazy. That's ok. But I hope that in my time of peace and acceptance that a storm is on it's way and that I have zero control over it will encourage others to stay calm as well. God has all things in his hands. Even the devastation of losing a home. May it not come to be. Ok, so I'm a little old fashioned. I know it. I don't mind the 50's housewife thing, except that I'm also working. The Proverbs 31 woman is better anyway. There are traditions in my life that don't need to be there, but it's part of the old fashioned way. However, I have made changes as time has forced us to. My son owns a tablet. It's great for school, and he likes to write, but boy is it a distraction. The kids started with their own rooms and now share because they want to, even though we planned on them each getting a room which I did not get until I was 9. I make my own spaghetti sauce and bake from scratch, but sometimes a box mix goes a looooong way, and frozen pizzas are the bomb.com.
When it comes to my God, though, there is no keeping up with the times. About 8 months ago I had an interesting conversation with a young woman at "church." (You know how I feel about that word in that way by now.) So this young was getting married. She said she was waiting to talk to our pastor because she wanted him to do the service. So I looked at her and said, "Are you and your fiance living together?" I had a feeling from Facebook I knew the answer. I have also never met this fiance, which means they don't attend our "church" together. I also never saw her when she wasn't working. She answered me, "Yeah." And I told her, "He won't marry you if you live together." She didn't quite understand. "Why? That's so stupid. Why won't the church keep up with the times?" I'm sorry, what? Why won't the church keep up with the times? Oh, honey, the church has never kept with the times. If it did, we wouldn't have a church body. There would be no difference between world and church. Jesus never kept with the times. If we kept with the times, than the church in AD 1 would be sleeping with women at the temple gates instead of meeting in the upper rooms of believers and surrendering to the Holy Spirit. When did "the times" become the dictator of what we should do as Christians? Please, explain this one for me. We can look at history and continually see how the Holy Spirit was taken out of "church" doings and became outrageously stupid acts. Can anyone say "Crusades"? What about that Westboro "Baptist" Church from Kansas. We love them, right? Morons. But wars are what we do in this time! Demonstrations and picket signs are the things of the times! Peter, Paul, James, Precilla, John, Mary, Timothy, and so many more could have been doing ritualistic sacrifices because it was what was popular. They could have been giving up on the whole Jesus thing, because it wasn't what those around him were doing. And where would we all be? Who would God have had to raise up after them? It's easy to live with the boyfriend or fiance. It saves money. It saves travel time for date nights. But it ruins what God has for you. Sure, you can have a loving marriage full of fun, but you miss out on so much more. You enter into intimate relationships that you might just not be ready for. It's easy to do a lot of things that old school thinking within the church would be against. But let's first take a look at why people of the church have taken a stance against those things. See what the Bible says about those things that are conflicting with you. Find out why we hold on to those things that keep us from keeping up with the times. God doesn't live in time. We won't be setting alarm clocks in heaven. Don't limit God to such a thing. I don't know why this post has taken so long. Perhaps it's just too obvious for me, or maybe I don't want people getting all mushy gushy on me. Either way, this post is for that tall guy in the pictures.
Sometimes I feel like Charlie and I have an odd relationship. It's usually because I have had a conversation with a friend about family and husbands. Other times I see people and their families and feel that we are a little different. You see, people see us and don't see the mushy gushy lovey dovey stuff. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's him. Perhaps it's because we met while teaching at the same school and had to keep things quiet. Ok, it's probably me. I'm not big on pda. But on top of that, we are also sarcastic with each other - something I need. I need humor. I often feel like people look at me like I am a slacker wife. Maybe I am. I'll have to blame some of it on him though. He's put me in a stage of being allowed to be a slacker. Heck, he encourages it. Do you see that guy up there? The one who teaches our kids (even if it's random facts). The one that runs along the sidewalk with them. He's the one that let a 6 year old dive bomb across him to get on the chair to snuggle. He's also the one that drives the jeep in the rain after one of my soccer games where he kept watch of the kids while also cheering me on. My husband is unique. He's supportive. What?! Is that a thing?! I know that there are people that don't get us. They don't have to! It's our marriage! Ha! We work, because my husband knows me and understands me. He knows that I have this crazy passion to make something with my life. He understands that I'm more than just a jock that loves to workout and train others. He knows I'm more than just a writer. He knows I'm more than a knitter and crafter. He understands me. There are nights, like tonight, that he is getting the kids bathed and hanging with them in the living room so that I can get my work done. And all the little things that I consider work, he does too! Sometimes they seem silly to me, but he supports them. He supports me. Stay at home mamas know that time alone is a precious commodity. He willingly sends me out or away for some alone time. He knows that I need time to recoup and refresh to be better for all of them. Even part time, work from home mamas get some time when they get into their work. I've been setting up at the farmer's market each week selling books. It's been hot and gross. My husband loads my car. He brings the kids up to visit. He even pulls shifts when I need to leave early. And every time, he volunteers and does it happily. He stands behind me and my dreams in a way that I don't sometimes. Do you have any idea what it's like to be matched with a person that fuels the flames of your life's desires? Whether it is 30 minutes to sit alone or sweating at the market, he has my back. I like to think that I have supported him through the years. He finished his master's while I was pregnant and taking care of kid(s). He has had good days and unbelievably bad days at work. Either way, I do my best to make sure dinner is ready for him when he comes home. No matter what it is, I do feel like I don't do enough - he would never say that. Why? Because I raise his children. I'm homeschooling them, doing laundry, going grocery shopping, cleaning bathroom, and doing my best to work from home and provide income for our family. Charlie supports it all. He doesn't complain about having the kids. He welcomes them to his lap (except when they nail him in the junk). Charlie, I love you. Writing a blog post dedicated to telling the world how exceptional you are as a husband and father will always fall short, and not only because I have such a small following. No, you are so much more to this family than you will ever know. Sure, you've grown and I've trained you ;) haha, but you are the reason this family continues to move towards greatness. Your love, dedication, support, and random facts are more than we deserve. I hope you know just what you mean to us, and more importantly, to me. |
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