Well, last night was Halloween. I sat on my porch and handed out treats of CheezIts and Rice Krispee Treats. I did not say anything to adults choosing to grab snacks for children home sick or those little ones too small to eat the goodies. I kept it to myself (for once). However there were two children that I couldn't hold my tongue with. One small child, maybe five years old, decided to tell me, "You didn't even decorate. All you did was this, and this." As he pointed to some pumpkins. My response was, "Do you want this or not?" He replied that he did so I said, "Then don't go judging my decorations." No, we don't go all out for Halloween. We went with simple fall decorations of scarecrows, pumpkins, and mums. What does this kid care what my decorations look like. I'm handing him free food! The second kid was some snot that yelled across the street at his mother. She had said, "Hey, don't just walk across the street!" To which he felt the need to snarl back, "I've done it all night," with such a tone I almost smacked him. I asked him if that was his mother and he said it was. I then told him, "Don't you ever talk to her like that again. She is looking out for your safety there is no need for that attitude." He did the "Yes, ma'am" of the south, took his treat with a thank you and left. I hate Halloween. Don't get me wrong, I love candy - probably too much- and the kids have fun, but I cannot stand the way other children are with this holiday. One of the reasons we have eased off on decorations is because the kids would walk through the strung pumpkin lights and break them. The kids knock things over as they run from yard to yard. It's not like our yards are huge. The sidewalk is about 12 feet away from the front step. I can't stand the disrespect of people's property. I never have, never will. I mean, let's face it, you all know my feelings on other people's children. This is clearly not a holiday for me. The issue I have with many areas is this whole I-can-say-whatever-I-feel-like-whenever-I-feel-like-it syndrome in this world. I would never have just told someone they weren't decorated properly. And if they had withheld my treat, I would have understood. The generation being raised, my generation, and half of the generation above me is living in a time of trouble. My parents generation was brought up in a split. When Dr. Spock came out with his notion of feelings are better than discipline, my grandparents generation made the choice to either go with the doctor, or follow the teachings of King Solomon and the book of Proverbs. (In case you don't know about King Solomon, I encourage you to read 1 Kings. You don't even have to do the background information in Samuel, just the beginning of 1 Kings will teach you enough to see where King Solomon received his wisdom and so much more.) So here comes this doctor saying not to spank children because it messes with their identity and a large number of people decide, "Yeah, this sounds so much better than what the Bible teaches! I'm in." And then we have a generation of never being told no. That generation produced a far greater amount of "Get what I want's" than the previous. It changes how we speak to people and how people speak to us. My son enjoys The Little House on the Prairie series. At one point he asked why it was such a big deal for Laura to be able to speak to her parents. I explained that it was how things were. Not even that long ago were children to be seen and not heard. As a parent, I completely understand why!! Oh my goodness! When you are home all day with your little ones, and your little ones are observant, they know all of your business. They have no problem butting into conversations with your spouse, or letting other people know what is said in your house. We went from generations of not talking - both good and bad as it kept kids in place, but taught everyone how to sweep issues under the rug. Now we have two generations of speak your mind. Offense looms around every corner. Emotions run unchecked. Opinions are given freely and unsolicited. Voting was once a secret, now everyone shares their agenda. Kids were once polite and respectful, now their atrocious and bratty. No, this wasn't supposed to be a post of nothing but a rant against disrespectful kids. There is a point. When we began our journey into homeschooling, I noticed a terrible tendency that my son had. When something wasn't going well he would begin to whine. "It doesn't make sense! It isn't right!" That's it, son. The book is wrong, not you. The problem isn't right. I noticed that he could never be right. And the attitude that came with it was, well, unbecoming. So I created a little street light image with words in each color. Red: Stop. Yellow: Think. Green: Respond. Simple principle (biblical even) but it gets the point across. Before you lash out at me because you don't understand the problem, gather your thoughts and come speak to me so we can resolve your issue. Things went from (insert whiniest voice here) "There's a proooobleeeemmm..." to "Mom, I'm having trouble with..." We took care of two problems in one swoop. We changed the whining to speaking and we changed the mindset from the issue being with the book or question to Caleb taking ownership of his lack of understand and need for help. The stop, think, respond tactic was also good for AJ in her reactions. Caleb would nudge her or do something accidentally and she would get upset and hit him. Now, I'm ok with a little aggression, and boy will she need it when she is older, but there is just no need for that in the house over nothing. So if he would bother her, she too needed to stop, think, and respond. She would pause and say, "Caleb you hit me." And he would apologize and they would go on. Y'all, this isn't rocket science. And I'm not telling everyone to "Stick Baby in the corner," with a red butt. I'm simply wondering why we can no longer hold our children accountable. I can't figure out why parents are alright with their child being rude. I'm mortified when my kids speak rudely. Parents, if you're still reading this, you probably don't have the issue, but take control of your child. It doesn't take a village, it takes you holding them accountable for their actions and words.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorI have a lot to say about a lot of things. Archives
May 2023
Categories |