Welcome back to your weekly rant from me! Just kidding. Though, I was sad to miss out on last week, it gave me more time to mull on things.
Good ole Teddy Bear Roosevelt had a policy that he summed up as, "Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far." I remember hearing that phrase and thinking, "That sounds like me." If history doesn't flood back into your memory, let me bring back a quick lesson. What Roosevelt was saying was that we should speak to each other openly, being able to listen, have a conversation, but if someone is unwilling to communicate, bash them over the head with a big stick. Okay, I might be paraphrasing just a little, but you get the picture. That phrase stuck with me because it seems to be some sound logic. The Bible tells us we should be slow to speak and quick to listen. Perhaps you had some mama-ology that said, "God gave you two ears and one mouth so shut up and listen." These all fall under the same thread - conversation. In today's society we have what I have dubbed a bunch of "Stuarts." If you are not well versed in late 90's MadTV, I encourage you to google some videos of Stuart sketches from the show. In every clip you will see Stuart approach someone, whether he knows them or not, and say, "Wanna see what I can do?" Of course, nobody wants to see what he can do, but he does it anyway. A flamboyant kick, a jump, and hands thrown about. Hilarious. He also shares the tidbits of information that his mother tells him, that nobody (besides us at home) wants to hear. So why are people being Stuarts? The average person seems to no longer be capable of having a normal conversation. I run across far too many people that dance around saying, "Wanna see what I can do?" Sometimes it comes out as, "My kid..." or "When I do it..." and quite a few other versions. These people are also quick to give their opinions. Basically, these people are abrasive. And at the end of the day, there is no reasoning with them, because they are wrapped up in their worlds. Recently there has been talk of human trafficking through shopping sites such as WayFair. Unfortunately, there have been some searches about items valued over $10,000 being sold with names of missing persons. It's disturbing. I decided to check Amazon to see if there was anything unusual there. I found a coffee table for over $35,000. A cheap little "unseparated" table that might be sold for $150. As a friend posted about her desire to purchase new furniture, but was scared of buying with WayFair, I happened to join the conversation. I showed the screen shots of the table, price, and review. Someone else decided she needed to reply to me that it's a lot of work for someone to do since trafficking happens in the open on a regular basis. She thought that the third party seller was trying to just make some extra cash from someone gullible. Maybe. I pray so. However, there is a review from one person that said the seller canceled the order without giving a reason. The third party seller is a shop in Georgia whose furniture is all under $300. Long story short, it's sketchy. The final comment the woman left (because I refused to continue having a "discussion") was that the real news that we should be focusing on is ... and a link. Okay, Ms. Stuart. I have seen what you can do. I hear what your mama always says. But let me share some wisdom with you. WE ARE NOT IN A COMPETITION WITH EACH OTHER!!!!!! We are not enemies. We are not adversaries. We are just on two different sides of the same fight! We're teammates. Why are you fighting me on this? It's back to Teddy. The Stuarts of America are speaking loudly and carrying a piece of yarn. There is no discussion. There is no conversation. There is no listening and reasoning. There is "BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! I'm right! Look at me!!!" Once their point is yelled across there is no positive action. I see Stuarts on a weekly basis. All they want to do is have a pissing contest about how great their kids are, and how well they did something. The truth is, if they weren't so loud about it, and had a conversation about it, they would see that what they're bragging about doesn't stack up to what you would have to say. That's why they have to be so loud. They can't let you speak. Because those of us sitting and speaking softly have a heck of a whalloping stick! Honestly, I'm sick of it. The other night it was wrenching my stomach and giving me a headache. In my mind I cried out, "God, what do I do?" And I felt that loving smack to the back of my head. I knew what to do. I needed to pray. I walked to my bedroom, and into the closet. I knelt down and began to pray. I began to pray for these people whose mouths were too big. I prayed for their hearts to be softened. I prayed that they would be less confrontational because one day I will snap and unleash my responses. Then I realized, I needed to be praying for me. I needed to be praying for my own heart to soften so that I could better love these people. These Stuarts are begging for attention. In passing, I have said things like, "Geez, they need to get a job. Have some importance. Feel special." I was just off the mark by a hair. They may or may not need a job, but they are searching for validation. They scream, "Look this way!" because they want someone to acknowledge what they are doing. They just want to be seen, known, approved of. As I pondered the list of Stuarts I face regularly, I noticed that most of them are women my around my age. I have begun to understand it more. Growing up for us, everything was a competition. We were told to make the best grades, have the right clothes, achieve, and never settle. Our mothers were the first true working class women, and we were to live up to their standards. I know the mentality behind it because I have it too. It's why you always find me with a notebook or novel on hand, making sure I'm bettering myself as an author. It's why my children are the way they are, I want them to be the best behaved, polite, hard-working children you meet. I adore any parental praise that I receive. I love when people make a big deal out of my training, writing, and momming. (I also love making verbs from nouns. It's a thing.) The difference is that I know better than to bring it out in a room of people or from behind my keyboard. I brag among friends that brag right back. I brag to my husband. I don't shout it from the rooftops or post it to other people's posts and comments. I speak softly, usually only when asked. I believe we need to revisit the likes of President Roosevelt. Should we be ready for action? Yes. Should we have the big stick for when it is necessary? Absolutely. But we must only wield it when necessary, after speaking softly has not made the point.
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