I'll never forget the day I found out I had back fat. It was traumatic. Truly. I knew I had gained weight. I knew my belly was bigger. But I had never had fat on my lower back like that before. Ever. I didn't know what to do.
I was on a medication that made me gain weight. A lot. Quickly. I thought that it was just water weight, but apparently I was wrong. I was miserable. Love handles and back fat on a personal trainer are not what people want to see. So I decided I needed some changes. The first thing I did was ween myself off of the medicine. You may think that was crazy of me. After all, it was for my fibromyalgia. But the truth is, my body had become accustomed to the medicine. The pain was there. And the medicine made me foggy. I could fall asleep anywhere at any time. Worst of all, I was cranky (that's a lot coming from me). The medicine made me less human. I thought since the medicine made me gain weight that when I stopped taking the medicine I would lose the weight. I did... kind of. I lost about two pounds. So then I got on my calories. I dropped calories. And I lost weight. Then it happened. I did it. No, I didn't lose all the weight and get my abs back. I hit the dreaded plateau. So, I called in the big dogs. I hired myself to be my own personal trainer. I wrote out my workouts. I planned everything. I tracked all my food. And I found out I was in deprivation. I wasn't eating enough. Ugh. I added calories to my day. I gained some weight back, and then lost more! My workouts were stronger. I felt better. Things were coming together. And the back fat was gone. Recently, I tried to drop calories again. I lost a couple of pounds. But then I gained it back. I couldn't understand why. Then my belly got flabby. Not a fan. And it hit me! I was still in lower calories. You see, I can do a week or two at dropped calories, but that's it. Then I need to go back to eating. My body will keep the weight off and I stay lean. But when I deprive myself for any longer, my body rebels. Truth is, all our bodies do that. Maybe not in the same way, but it's all thanks to our brain. When our brain experiences deprivation, it makes us respond with binging. Not eating enough? Binge weekend. Not spending any money to be a good saver? Shopping spree. Not standing up for yourself? Goes on a rampage for the next 17 years to make up for taking crap from people. It's how our brains function. So I ask you: Where are you depriving yourself? Is the binge going to make it better? Life is supposed to be full, not deprived.
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May 2023
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