Lately, God bless her, my cousin has been sharing various memes under the theme of anxiety and ADHD. Over the last few years, she and I have grown closer than we ever were as children. And her openness with anxiety and mental health issues has been wonderous for me. I love seeing that I’m not alone, but also her boldness.
These memes have caused me to take a step back and evaluate myself more closely. Honestly, I was shocked when I saw how many issues that I had that were actually considered normal for a person like me. Things with procrastination due to the importance of the task, or even the continual overthinking of a conversation between me and another person, can make me feel very alone in the world. But deeper, it makes me feel like a giant failure. Why can’t I do this simple task? Why does it overwhelm me? I should be able to do this! That monologue is not good for a person with depressive thoughts. Those words lead to more negativity. The next thing you know, all I want to do is lay on the couch, eat, and watch TV. And you know what happens then? Fewer items done. More failure. Cycle continues. When I started this blog, I didn’t know which way it would go. Would I write as an author? Trainer? Mother? Christian? Wife? Woman? Too many hats!!! I left it very open to go in the direction that I felt each week. Yet lately, I have felt the need to continue more in my personal life and struggles. I have found solace in expressing my “Less than-ness” in a safe environment. I have also found that I receive more responses when it comes down to me fighting my battles. Whether it is encouragement or just a simple thank you, I know that y’all appreciate my candidness. You’ll probably notice that the shift into real life down and dirty what’s wrong with Jewel will be more and more through the months. I hope that as I have found peace and comfort from my cousin, you too will feel encouraged to continue to fight the battles that rage within you as well. Thank you all for your love and support these last few years. May we cherish these times of growth.
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AuthorI have a lot to say about a lot of things. Archives
May 2023
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