I have come to the conclusion that there are three people in this world and I'd like to show them to you.
Person X gives Person Y a gift. Person Y is thankful and excited. Later, Y can't decide exactly how to use the gift because of the option. They think they know what they want to do, but, again, there are options. All exciting options. Y is not stressed over the situation, but excitedly tells their friends about the gift and the possibilities. Enter People A, B, and C. A says: Oh, I have one of those. I used mine in this way. (done) B says: Ya know. I have one of those. And it really is the best at this. You should try it. (moderate explanation) C says: What you need to do is this. (lengthy explanation) At first glance you might pick out who you think you are, but you might need to be honest. Which one do you think gave the advice to Person Y? My opinion: A. Why? Person Y never asked for anyone's opinion. Did you catch that in the opening part? Person Y is simply talking about the options and possibilities they have with the gift. Never once did Person Y ask what A, B, and C would do with it. Person A heard it and didn't try to push their opinion on Person Y. They acknowledged that they too had the item and shared how they use it. That's all. B goes beyond that. B starts to prod Y into using the gift the same way that they have because that is what they like. I get it. I do. Sometimes we're just so excited that we spill over and want to help others. But it comes off pushy. And C? Well, C clearly believes that they know the absolute right way to do it and believe that you should do it that way regardless. Past pushy. I think the biggest obstacle in B and C's life is not their desire to help others (which is what they are believing they are doing). It's the fact that they want to push their ideas onto people that haven't asked for them. As a fitness professional, I so often want to tell everyone my opinion on how to get them healthier. I'm so over the continual fad diets and yo-yoing that people do. I want to smack some people. But at the end of the day I only give advice to those that seek it. Can you imagine if I walked up to an overweight woman and told her she should start walking everyday? RUDE! It might be true. It might be for the right intentions - longer life, quality of life, weight loss, heart health, diabetes, you name it. But it still isn't my place. Today's society has created a generation of people that believe their voice must be heard. Whether what they're saying is true or false, well intentioned or not, helpful or not, does not matter. We need to do a better job of listening. That way, when our advice is desired, people will want to hear it. I'll leave you with the old saying: Opinions are like buttholes/armpits. Everyone has them and they all stink! Let's use some wisdom from now on, please.
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AuthorI have a lot to say about a lot of things. Archives
May 2023
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