Growing up, I cared little for word definitions and word choices. I cared nothing of vocabulary unless it was terminology related to basketball. I was pretty much pigeon holed and mainly by myself. My role in life was to be the jock that people expected of me and sleep through AP Biology (in my defense I did try and she hated my work so I eventually gave up). It was my job to be indifferent to education and only care about sports.
In college I found a friend that made me feel like I was the one who grew up in some hillbilly shanty town and not the top notch Massachusetts education. And then I found myself caught. Do I dare care about my lack of vocabulary intellect and try to better myself, or do I stay the jock. I swayed between the two ideas all throughout college. It was no longer expected of me to be indifferent to my personal education. After all, this is costing quite a bit. I should be putting forth my best effort. Well, I just learned to nod and smile with that friend when I wasn't up to par, but also did the best I could through college, despite classes that weren't in my field. Educational indifference left me. I had to become better. Being indifferent is probably the worst thing for any human in any situation. I acquired the taste for indifference in high school as a coping mechanism. Indifference creates the ability to be numb. Why and how do people become indifferent? Usually it stems from the fact that they were previously invested. Then something happens. Failure, frustration, incompetence, sole propriaship (making up a word for you), or something else will trigger the spiral to mediocrity. Let's try this out: I wanted to be a smart, straight A student. I wanted to make my parents proud. In elementary school I began to struggle with reading assignments. What is the main idea? Oh, It's D! No. B? No. Aaaaa? No. Must be C then. And my grades began to match. However, we were not in the age of testing. We were in the generation of "you must not be trying hard enough" and in the grade where I needed help the most, I wasn't getting it. My parents just assumed I was getting lazy. Middle school I brought home my first ever C on a report card. Thought my parents were going to lose their ish on me. My father asked if I tried my hardest, and he believed I had and was therefore not upset. (I was shocked!!) I soon realized that my parents didn't care if I was the smartest - they had my brother for that. So I invested more in sports than school and became cynical. To this day I still have reading issues because nobody caught it. I was labeled as someone who didn't like to read (it's hard to like something you're terrible at and having grades reflect it). So, indifference brewed. Where else do we see this? Let's talk kids. If I have to work every Tuesday evening (the one night I never work) and my son's sporting events happen every Tuesday we end up in a pickle. Which do I choose? If I choose work, I am paying for the sport season. If I choose going to practices and games, we won't be able to afford it, but he's happy I'm there. Well, let's say I choose work. If I miss so many practices and so many games that when I have the chance to go, he won't care if I'm there or not. Sure, he might be excited I showed up, but he's fine if I don't. It's the breeding ground for an indifferent child. Don't we always want our children to be excited for us to be there? Indifference is found everywhere. Last week I discussed how if we stand for nothing we fall for anything. This is part of the indifference. If it doesn't affect us, who cares. If we tried and failed, no sense trying again. If things are close enough to being okay, then we can just live numbly. No feeling of joy or sorrow. No fight for or against. Just... there. Disaster comes when indifference settles in. If you don't believe me, find the things you feel indifferent about. See who and what is affected. Is it worthy of your time, money, emotions? Just yesterday, teachers across South Carolina called out the indifference of law makers and state officials on the subject of education. It has taken so long, that many became indifferent and simply left the field. Now there is a chance for change because people said, "No more!" Where will you shake off the indifference of your heart and mind to fight and say, "No more!" and move to action?
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May 2023
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