Maybe it's just me, but I feel that my last few posts were a little heady. I'm trying to get deep in a short amount of time. Sometimes I feel like the weight is lifted, while other times I feel like I might become disowned by friends and family. So this week, I offer some hacks.
Being a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) is not as glamorous as my father made it out to be. He used to joke with my mother that she sat around the house watching her soaps while eating Bon-Bons all day. I knew this was a joke because I could sniff out all the sweet treats in the house and because my mother hated soap operas. However, there was a part of me that thought she had it easy. By the time I was driving, my brother was in college, and it seemed as if she had less to do. No dropping me off or picking me up. Less laundry (I did my own, not my brother). And fewer groceries to buy. As an adult, and fellow SAHM, I can see how she was actually quite efficient with her time. Three years ago I was picturing this upcoming fall looking so much differently. I would be a SAHM while working from home, but having two kids in school! I was ready for a party! Homeschool life takes that away, but I have noticed the shift in stress with some of my mother's old time efficiency ways, and some of my own. So let's dive in! 1. CHORE LIST SPLIT You might be thinking, "Yes, give your husband and kids chores." Well, yes, we do that. But it is more than just splitting the chores among family members. When I worked outside of the home I would clean my home top to bottom every Saturday. I might run the vacuum an extra night, and dishes and laundry were done based upon necessity. After staying home I realized I could schedule it all better. Take the list of chores you have- Laundry, Sweeping, Mopping, Vacuuming, Bathrooms, Kitchen, etc. Then divide it throughout the week. Let's face it, spending an entire day cleaning the house is miserable. Only having to do one or two things is easier on life and your soul. For instance, our schedule has laundry divided into two days - Monday and Thursday. On Mondays I change the master bedroom sheets, and run a load of linens followed by whatever other loads need to be done. Thursday I do a second load of linens with the kids sheets followed by whatever other loads. Tuesday is bathroom cleaning day. Wednesdays I clean the floors front door to back door. As I split the chores throughout the days, I am less overwhelmed by them. I also hustle to get those two chores done right away so that I get no surprises. 2. WORK AT YOUR OPTIMAL TIME Believe it or not, there are these people that operate better at night. Go figure! Honestly, I would be one of those people if I didn't have responsibilities for the morning. But because I know that I work at varying times in the morning, and evening, I created a schedule that works for me. I workout before the sun comes up most days. It is another check on the to do list. Also, I don't have to worry about what I just ate for lunch or dinner coming back up on me. I apply this to every part of my life. Whether it is my workout or writing, or even the chores, I have become a morning person. It is not my optimal time to work while I'm awake and roaring. If I wait until after dinner to work, I'm pretty sluggish. There was once a time when my best writing came at 11:00pm with the Golden Girls. I miss those days. Now I can't stay awake until then. Oh well. 3. HAVE YOUR OWN SPACE I cannot stress this enough - you need to be a whole person. When I was single and living in an apartment, that was my space. I could do as I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted. But even if I had people over, my bedroom was my space. They could stay overnight on the futon. They could curl up on the couch. But my bed was my bed. My room was mine. When I got married and had kids it seemed that my space became everyone's space. For a bit that crushed my soul. I had no escape. Sure, I could go hit Target, but I really don't want to walk around Target in my bra. I can't work at a local Starbucks with my feet out and wearing my slouchy outfit - it takes away from the professionalism I try to portray. In my home my office space has moved throughout the building. of the house trying to find the "just right" spot. At the moment, I like it. My writing desk is in our dining room so that I'm close to the kids during school time. You may think that a disadvantage, but when you have to get up every ten minutes to correct papers, answer questions, or teach a quick lesson, being close is optimal. That also means that my office is not in my bedroom anymore. No longer do work and rest reside together. That is peaceful. 4. DE-CLUTTER Recently, I created a game I call "Fill a Bag." The purpose is for each member of the family to fill a shopping bag with stuff the don't use or need anymore. It's a great way to go through clothes and toys and realize WE HAVE TOO MUCH! Here in the good ole US of A we have a lot. We eat a lot. And we are never satisfied. This all comes down to a spirit of contentment. That is something we truly lack in the 21st century. There will always be bigger and better, but we will never appreciate what we have until we are content. If you have little ones like mine, you may notice that they are incapable of getting rid of anything. I set up rewards systems. It isn't for every time, but typically they will be rewarded with something new, when they give up something old. For instance, I went to target for someone else and saw some cute clothing. I bought a bottom and a top for each child. Then they had to go through each drawer of their dresser and every item in their closet. If it didn't fit or they didn't like it, it went. After they cleared out 10 items, they received the new clothes. They didn't know I was going to do that, but it was a great surprise. And I try to keep things fresh for them. Maybe they get a new book or a toy. Maybe it's a trip to Sweet Frog or the Dollar Tree. Find a way to get rid of all the things that are excessive. 5. GET HELP My mother cannot stand my house. It's okay, I don't care for hers either. She and I believe that everything has a place and if you can't find a place get rid of it. The problem I'm finding is that my home doesn't always have the ability to find spaces that are necessary. So I call my mother every few months and ask for help. Sometimes I take charge and tell her what I need and we work. Other times, I sit on the floor and say, "I'm lost," while letting her work her magic. By calling in help I am not giving up. Instead, I'm saying, "Let's get this done." It doesn't always work, but we can at least make progress. Sometimes my anxiety gets the better of me when I try to get things in order. I will look at my husband or my mother (sometimes both if it's bad enough to call her when he's around) and say, "It all has to go!!" The kids are capable of helping. People are willing. If you need help getting life in order, ask! Sure, I'm a loner, but I would totally help anyone that asked me. If I am willing to go and help people, I'm sure there are many more that would to. 6. PRIORITIZE If you do not prioritize your life, others will. This ranges everywhere from relationships to extra-curricular activities to budgets and more. Everywhere in your life that is important needs to have a spot. We can't do it all at once. Just the other night I was cooking dinner in two different parts while trying to help the 8 year old with Latin (Thank you, Robin for answer keys) and the 5 year old with ELA. Holy cow my head was spinning. So I stopped and took a breath. Dinner was my priority at that time. You may think of me as a jerk, but Caleb had all day to do his Latin, and really wasted time. AJ was doing work for the day ahead. Dinner was going to burn. Dinner was the priority. My kids knew and understood why it was that way. It isn't a matter of love, but for me it was. I knew I could sit with Caleb later that night or another day to figure out that Latin. I knew AJ could just wait for the next day to do her school work. Dinner was for all of us. We all needed to eat and be strengthened. And nobody wants a burnt omelet. So make things a priority. If your child is in their 4th year of football and they are average at best, you are allowed to skip a game or two for the right reasons. Know your priorities and let others know as well. Hopefully this list helps you no matter where you are in life. Single/married, full time work/part time work/retired, kids/no kids/grown kids, and whatever combination, we all need a little boost some time.
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