The title might give away exactly how I feel these days.
Back in the 90's I was blessed enough to know of the group DC Talk. One of the best songs they have is "Love is a verb." That song makes you think. Just the title tells you. Love is always thought of as some intangible item around us. Love is a verb. It is something you do. So what does that have to do with the title? Everything. "Parent" is most often thought of as a noun. I am a parent. I'm proud of that. I have given life to two beautiful, smart, funny children. But I think I am most proud of being a parent because I parent. If you look up parent on dictionary.com, you'll see that it starts out with the definition as a noun. Next, it gives the definition as an adjective. Finally, it shows it as a verb. "To be or act as parent of." To be or to act. That is where many American families fall apart. Look, I get it, kids are emotional. They act irrationally so often. When that happens, it is our job to parent! We must set the ground rules. We must take the action. Kids are not going to learn that throwing a fit is wrong, unless we teach them that. My daughter threw a fit just the other day. Did I ignore her? No. Did I spank her? No. I looked at her and made her make eye contact. I spoke to her sternly. "AJ, stop. There is no need to cry right now. If you want to go through that door, you need to calm down." Guess what happened. She sucked in that bottom lip. She wiped the tears from her eyes. She walked through that door with composure. Ah ha ha! Did I perform magic? No! I parented! And you know what? You can too! There are times for ignoring the fit (we know, when they just want attention). There are times to spank (it's been too many times). There are times to speak, and to speak as a parent. There was no sweet talking or negotiation. There was fact. If you want to walk in there, you need to stop. I didn't give that "oh sweetie, it's okay, what do you need, baby?" attitude. No, it was firm. That's what parenting takes. It takes action, even in these little silly moments. Why do I post this? I'm so tired of being subject to the poor behavior of children while they are with their parents. I know that some people have had the cops called on them for spanking their children, but I'm seeing that attitude less and less. More people want to see you parent. They/We want to see that you can control your child. I'm so tired of people making excuses for their kids. "Oh, it's nap time." "They aren't used to this environment." "They just woke up." Look, I get it. I've said those excuses. But I've said those excuses fewer times than anyone on this planet. Here's the rub- Parenting is an obligation. It is a responsibility. You are in charge of how those little ones will turn out. When people compliment my children's behavior I am grateful. It took a lot of hard work. It's still hard work. I'm not done yet, but I'm prepared to keep working. I know that I have another 16 years to instill in them all that I wish for them. I want them to follow God. I want them to have a good work ethic. I want them to love deeply. I want them to chase dreams. I want them to be polite, and use good manners (not because we're in the south, but because it's right). I want my children to be people that other parents will want their kids to look up to. And that is only the beginning. But I will work. Not for me, but for them.
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AuthorI have a lot to say about a lot of things. Archives
May 2023
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