This morning as I left my house for a run, I found things a little off.
Things were quiet. Too quiet. Ever since Christmastime or so, I have struggled to get up at 5 a.m. Without the immediate need - a client at 6:00, getting a kid to school, husband leaving early - I have enjoyed the ability to stay in bed until closer to 6:00, sometimes later. Don't get me wrong, I would rather be up at 5:00 getting life going, but it was just plain hard. Because I have been waking up later, I have been leaving for runs later as well. I have noticed that with the spring air moving in, my neighborhood often sounds like an aviary. The constant songs and chatter are fighting over one another like my children do. He who is heard the loudest, must be the best! I usually enjoy the songs of birds as I run in the morning, but the last two weeks it has sounded more like cluttered noises, than beautiful songs. I don't typically prefer to wake up later, even if I can without repercussions. There is something that eases my soul to wake up early. To have things done before children awaken means that they are done with full thought capacity. I don't have to split my attention. Getting up at 5:00 and not having any commitments until 2:45 means that I can get plenty of my own agenda done before I need to be a caregiver, teacher, or anything else. It's a bit like "me time." Saturday I had the opportunity to attend the local farmer's market as a vendor yet again. I was bound and determined to get up and run before getting up to the market to set up. That meant a 5 a.m. wake up and actually getting out of bed. With the impending leave time approaching, I had no difficulty waking up and heading out to the warm air for a short, but needed run. With three miles under my belt, my head was clear for the day ahead. And how thankful I was to not have to come home at 2:00 and need to go for a run! I spent time playing games with my children and relaxing before heading to my grandmother's for dinner. That morning's run was quiet, but some wildlife was stirring, and readying themselves for a warm spring day. When I left for the market at 6:45, the aviary was wide awake and chatter filled the air. The alarm is now set back to 5:00 in hopes that the effects of waking up Saturday will keep for the days ahead. Today I was awakened before 5 a.m. Oh, how I loathe those moments when you are 25 minutes away from your alarm going off! How dare the week begin like this! And yet, I was not tired. After odd dreams, and odd noises outside my window, I was happily awake in my bed. As I was alert and ready, my body still wished for some rest so I decided to begin my day with some prayer. Could there be a better start? When the alarm did go off at 5:00, I turned it off and continued praying. Starting the day thankful, and asking for grace and peace cannot go wrong. I was up and out, on the way. The sounds of the wind pushing my children's plastic pool had ceased. In fact, all the sounds I have grown accustomed to were not there. There were no birds calling to one another. The aviary was silent. I did not know if they were sleeping, or hiding. No rabbits greeted me at turns. It was quiet. Too quiet. Eerily quiet. I suppose that sounds crazy coming from a mother of little ones. Is there ever such a thing as too quiet? Is it not all that I longed for last week? Now in the midst of quiet, I hoped for noise. I hoped for chatter. I write this thankful for the silence that came this morning. I'm thankful for the wind that kept the world around me quiet, so that I could appreciate the chatter of my little ones. Yes, they will get too loud. Yes, they will bring me to a point of frustration. I just hope that I can remember that I've experienced quiet today, and it wasn't what I needed. Mark 1:35 - And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he (Jesus) departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed. Psalm 127:3&4 - Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth.
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May 2023
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