There is a lot of talk these days about kids and what they have been changing into. Personally, I agree with Head Coach Frank Martin from University of South Carolina. He says, "Kids haven't changed. Kids don't know anything about anything. We've changed as adults. We demand less of kids. We expect less of kids." I believe this to be so true. It is us as adults that don't hold to the standard that was once expected of us.
I was listening to a client talk about a team she encountered this previous weekend and I thought of so many other teens I have come across in my life. One thing that I have seen a shift in, is our representation. This woman told stories of rude teenagers and said, "I would have killed my girls if they acted that way." But then again, that's because she has expectations. (We get along well.) One expectation that adults had as children was to be a proper representation of their parents or other adults. This one always laid heavily on me. I'm not even sure where it came to me from. I never got the lecture from my parents. I'm sure at some point I heard it briefly in church. And when it came to the school, I can't think of a time this was brought up. Yet, when I was in high school, I was very concerned with whom I represented. Let's start with the school. When I put on a jersey and stepped onto the court, I knew that I then represented my team, my coach, my school. To extent I felt like I represented my town. I'm not sure that it mattered, at least in basketball. My coach left a terrible taste in the mouths of everyone he met. Still, I wanted to make sure that my school community was brought up and not down if it involved me. The same went for my family. I lived in a small town. My father grew up there and attended the same high school as I did. Even though I wasn't exactly popular in school (okay, completely not popular) I knew that I had family all throughout the town, and surrounding towns. I couldn't have imagined what might have happened if I brought a sour note to my father's name. My grandparents would have been mortified. I knew that every old person I ran into had a very good chance of knowing at least one person in my family a generation or two above me. I wanted to represent my family well. But the one that made the most of an impression on me was always my faith. My school community wasn't always around me. My family wasn't by my side. I could have acted so much worse on so many occasions, yet I knew that God was with me. I would represent Him whether I did well or not. The second I became a Christian, I became a representative. The moment I was baptized, I made sure the world knew where I stood. Today's society holds less to our representing others. Today seems to be about representing ourselves. Now, I won't say that the concept is completely terrible. I could have used a little more confidence in myself. And let's face it, we can't all be happy with the way we are represented through different avenues. How many times have we said, "They don't speak for all of us," in reference to radicals of any nature? But I think we tipped the scales too far. I don't want my children to act correctly because they think that if Mom finds out she'll kill us (though that doesn't hurt). I want my children to act right because they want to make me proud. I want them to act right because they show the world that I have taught them right from wrong. More importantly, I want them to act right because God wants them to act right and they want to do right on their own! Oh man. It's a lot to take in sometimes. I think the issue we face right now is that parents want their kids to be good and do right, but they aren't being held to a standard. Parents today seem to be working on wishes and hopes, dreams and rainbows. They forget that when their kid doesn't do well it makes the kid look like a brat and the parent look worse. What words have we thought when we were around poor behaving children? Bad parents, lazy parents, selfish, childish, dumb, obnoxious parents? Representing a group of any nature used to be a point of pride. Kids that put on a jersey because they made the cut. Keeping the family name out of the mud because Pops worked so hard to get the name out there to begin with. Heck, even the gangs. They rep their colors as a point of pride. It all says, "I belong somewhere." But that belonging always came with a price. Those practices were hard, and the drills broke down our bodies. Kids can't go out and have fun with their friends because Pops would not be happy. And the thugs had to prove their toughness through crimes to be a part of that gang. Belonging comes with a price. That's why there was so much pride in it to begin with. When you put that much work in, you have earned your spot. We don't require our kids to earn things anymore. They take no pride in their work. Their only pride is of themselves. There is never anything bigger than themselves these days. I encourage parents, coaches, teachers, adults that are helping to mold our youth, teach your kids what and who they are representing. Teach them why what they say and do is important. It isn't just so you can look good. It makes an entire group look good. And at the end of the day it takes the focus off of themselves and all of their petty points of pride.
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AuthorI have a lot to say about a lot of things. Archives
May 2023
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