We live in an age where self care is considered not only a norm, but a necessity. I've struggled with this idea for a very long time. No matter how much I see the benefit, I feel selfish. Why should I get the chance to sit in a tub for an hour? Why would I spend money on getting my hair or nails done? Sure, I take care of the kids. I take care of the majority of household chores. I lesson plan, make fitness plans, keep the budget, and on and on. But so do a lot of people. What kind of care do I need?
I look at the people who regularly do self care and I am filled with so many questions. Some of these questions are: How do you have this much money? Is your life that stressful? What is it that you do? All of those questions have less to do with the people I look at, and more to do with me. It isn't about how much they make, it's about where my heart is while I see them enjoying themselves. I don't know them. I don't know if they work three jobs to pay the bills and have a little extra on the side. I don't know if people give them gift cards. I don't know if they're horribly in debt and just continually bleeding and don't know how to make it stop. And you know what? I don't have to know. It's none of my business. But after seeing so many people take the plunge of self care, I started to wonder. Why do we need self care? Society has us doing so much, we have anxiety and depression. We're worn out from being all the things for all the people. We wear hat after hat. It's exhausting. And we try to recover with an hour here and an hour there. That hour feels like heaven. Then we pick up our phones again and see that we missed an important call, or our kids need something, or some other trivial thing that America has taught us should be important. I can't bring myself to a regular indulgence of self care due to guilt. Take a bath? But I'm leaving my kids who just want to spend time with me. Go out alone? But my husband works, he needs alone time too. But I'm beginning to make some changes. I don't call it self care, I just do it because I can. A sugar scrub in the shower once a week is refreshing. A massage every so often, needed. Doing my nails and hiding in the bathroom when I should be writing a book? Hey, the nails will look nice while I'm signing other books. The biggest problem with self care is not the concept or the price (though, come on - some of it is crazy expensive). The problem is that our lives are so off-kiltered that we need to schedule times to refresh ourselves. We need to learn balance and boundaries. Those two items should be the foundation of your self care. Without them, it's just a band aid on a bullet hole. Stop trying to play keeping up with the Joneses. Stop letting work walk all over you. Don't let others guilt you. Be a human. Fully human. Find quiet. Find peace. Then go get your nails done.
1 Comment
Catherine
7/28/2022 05:35:16 am
I feel the same way about self-care. It seems excessive how some women will get manicures/massages/spa every month. I used to go Once or twice a year with an old friend to get a facial, then have lunch afterwards. It is nice, but hard when you have a busy schedule at home. Since moving to Summerville, my facials are now getting one of those peel-off masks from Below Five, lol.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorI have a lot to say about a lot of things. Archives
May 2023
Categories |