Alright, let's tie it all together.
Parents today are enabling children. Why? I'm not here to blame, but I think it's important to be honest. Generations before us have been more strict. There have been rules. There was respect. There was discipline. Then someone came in and said that discipline hurt children's feelings and we should stop. Enter in the Time Out of parenting. The problem was that some parents, not many but some, were abusive. They hit. They beat. They screamed into faces and shoved into walls. But that was not the majority. Yes, those people are monsters. But they were not the majority. A spanking taught a child that they should not do something. Minds that lacked reasoning and understanding needed something simple to help them understand right from wrong. It's an immediate consequence. It teaches a lesson. But it isn't all about the discipline choices. A lot of it is about communication. I remember when my son read Little House on the Prairie for school. I had never read it growing up. I had to read it with him. The amount of times the idea of seen-and-not-heard was brought up was shocking. I mean, I know I grew up with it. I know it's how I was raised. But I had never really seen it as a lesson in a book for kids to live by. That has changed. Some for the good, some not at all. Kids who were told to sit down and be quiet became kids that said, "I won't treat my kids that way. They'll have a voice. They'll have a say!" Again, parent is a noun and a verb. We can't let kids rule the house. It doesn't work. Adults should have life experience, knowledge, wisdom, and be able to guide their children in a proper way to live. That's why kids don't need to share their opinion on everything. They don't have the experience and wisdom. Parents should be teaching their children how to make decisions and the difference of right and wrong. But we have far too many households where the kids reign. Everything from what's for dinner to what is on the TV to where are we going on vacation gets voted on, and often dominated by children. I think this is where there should be balance. If I'm cooking dinner for my family, I'm cooking dinner. If I ask them what they want for dinner, it isn't a dead set that they will get what they want, but maybe I'm just brain dead and don't know. They may even come to me and ask if we could have something for dinner, when they do, they add the words "please," and "soon". It isn't, "I want spaghetti for dinner." It's "Mom, can you please make spaghetti sometime soon?" Question versus statement. Okay, that's a silly example (though necessary). But what about some bigger things? Depression isn't new. But it hasn't been a topic of conversation until recently. Why? We didn't talk about such things. Everything was swept under the rug. And any mental health discussions were kept in the house. Obviously there was no internet for us to share our world with, but there also wasn't genuine face to face conversation with friends and loved ones about depression, struggles, or anything else that would create a weird tension within the group. Quite frankly, that was personal. We don't share personal items. It isn't for the world to know. And to an extent, yes, I agree. You do not need to share all of your life with the world. BUT! I've always wondered what it would be like if I had been able to share with someone my struggles. What if my friends knew that I wanted to die? Would I have grown deeper relationships? Would my teachers have understood me better? Would it have mattered? I don't know. But I see teenagers now who are getting help. The stigma is taken away when it comes to mental health. We don't have to sweep it under the rug. There's hope. No generation is perfect. There isn't a single generation that has done right as a whole. But each generation has the chance to do better. I was always told we study history so we don't make the same mistakes. It was always presented in a "Hitler was bad" format, but to be clear, we are all a part of history. We are all making ripples into the world that will last. Are we willing to look at the generations before us, and the people who weren't famous, to help figure out a better path? This is our chance. What mark will we leave on society?
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AuthorI have a lot to say about a lot of things. Archives
May 2023
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