We interrupt your anger reading with a purposeful tangent.
All of these little things that are seemingly harmless may one day add up. One day it's carrying your kid's backpack. The next day is answering their texts during class. And out of nowhere your kid gets fired from working at a chain restaurant. Hmm... that escalated quickly. Let's see, you taught your child that they don't have to be responsible for their personal items. You taught your child that if something is difficult, you'll do it for them. You taught your child that they don't have to follow rules if it doesn't fit with what they want. You taught your child that you would clean up their mess. You didn't mean to, but it happened. I know, this is a bit of a stretch, but is it? My real purpose in pointing this out is that parents today have a lack of intention. Honestly, many people go through life with few to no intentions. It's sad. It's hurtful. As a parent, you should be intentional. You choose your words carefully. You choose punishments with a purpose. You make dinners and go grocery shopping with intentions. Or at least you should. I see a lot of parents that let their kids eat whatever they want. Hello, childhood obesity and early diabetes diagnosis. I see a lot of parents that will give the same disciplinary action for every single infraction. But that isn't how life works. Different actions have different consequences. What is it this time? No screen? No phone for the night? That'll teach them. Especially since you'll give the phone back in the morning so you know they are safe when they go to school. Man, how did we ever survive going to school without a cell phone in our pockets. (If you didn't visualize a look of disdain laced with sarcasm and a hint of an eye roll, you might not get me.) Many people go through life with a mindset of "Do no harm." As long as the action, words, whatever, doesn't actively do harm, I'm fine. Right? But I ask this - we may not intend to do harm, but do we intend to do good? You see, that's the point. The philosophy of do no harm keeps us from being intentional in go do good. And grammatically, I mean "good" not "well." It isn't, go do well on your schoolwork. It's go, do good. Bring good. Change the world. Be intentional. It is my deepest belief that so much of life's troubles stem from unintentionallity. I don't believe that is a word, but it will be for me! Let's look at the most common problems of American adults. Poor money habits/debt Divorce Broken relationships: parent/child, sibling, friendships Addiction: drug, alcohol, social media Pick one of those and ask, "What if?" What if we are intentional in our money habits? Paycheck comes in. 10% to tithing Pay bills % to needs % to saving Repeat. If we do that every time, we know where our money is going. We know about how much is being saved. If we know how much we are saving, we know if we are saving in stocks or an account, or for a trip, or... When the car starts to die, it isn't a trouble. You have x amount saved aside. Fix the car. Move on. People are a little harder. But what if we were intentional in our relationships? Call to check in. Text message of support. Bringing over flowers or a treat for no reason. You can live a life that doesn't harm your friend, but are you actively going and doing good? You can live a life of no harm in your job, but are you intentionally trying to end the gossip? mend fences? hang out with the outcast? Sure, this matters as a parent. More importantly it matters as a human. Where are you being intentional? Where are you drifting through life? I can tell you this - living a do no harm life, becomes harmful very quickly, usually when we least expect it. Why? Well, it wasn't our intention.
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May 2023
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