Last year my grandmother gave all of us girls a necklace. It had a pendant with our birthstone color and a metal pendant that had a word that was supposed to meet our personalities. Well, mine hit the nail on the head. Slam dunk. Hole in one. The word? "Honest."
Over the years I haven't really cared about how many friends I had. I can remember in high school thinking, "as long as I have these three, I'm ok." And to this day I still have two of them. I wasn't one for cliques and groups. I was just me. I still am. I still don't necessarily care about how many friends I have or if I have any. Throughout my life, people have always been turned off by me. When I was young, I felt bad that people found me to be rough around the edges. It cut me deep to know that people didn't like who I was. I didn't know why. By high school I realized, I COULD NOT CARE LESS what people thought of me. I was who I was and I wasn't going to change me to accommodate for others. (Though I know I did and still do.) In college I believe I figured it out. My pastor- Jon Davis mmhmm I'm calling you out to the world wide web- has shared his professors words to us for over a decade. "The gospel is offensive, you don't have to be." Woah. Deep words. Why is the gospel offensive? It states the truth. It is what it is. We can take it and be offended by it. OR we can take it and be convicted by it. Yikes. I soon realized that that was a huge part of why people didn't care for me. I'm honest. Sometimes too honest, for social standards. I'm offensive because I speak the truth. Over the years I have come to see that just because you know the truth doesn't mean you need to speak it. And sometimes it isn't just that I speak truth, but how I deliver the truth. And, believe it or not, I have worked on how I deliver the truth to the people around me. Some people need to hear it straight up to get it. Others need some sugar coating, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, right? And sometimes I just smile and ignore things because they just aren't ready for it. So that is me. I'm honest. I'm offensive. The truth hurts us when it doesn't line up with what we want to hear. I'm not sure if I am ready to apologize for the offense of truth. However, if my delivery needed some work, I do apologize for being to blunt. I'm still growing. I'm not done yet. God is still working in me and through me. The beauty of it now is that I know I will never have a great number of friends. I know that I will have plenty that come and go. Most importantly, I know that God gave me the wisdom and discernment to know the truth in matters people wouldn't believe. It's my job to speak when needed. Whether I make friends or lose them.
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AuthorI have a lot to say about a lot of things. Archives
May 2023
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