Time is one of my biggest struggles. Time is important. We must be on time. Being late is rude. We need to make time for things we care about. We must have time for what we love. There's never enough time or there is far too much time. The scales of the balance never hang in balance. Time. It's supposed to heal all wounds. It's supposed to make our hearts grow fonder. But if we don't use it wisely enough we don't repair those relationships or go after what we long for and then the time is simply gone. And what have we to show for it. Time. We wake up early. We stay up late. We cram in meetings, appointments, families, and hobbies. We leave time to recover because we need time to recover. But then did we waste our time? We could have done more. We sit on death's door and wonder, "What for?" Have we done enough? Will we do enough? When will we find the time to do the things we know we must?! We give people our time. We give schedules our time. We give away our time, but in the end we wish we had more time. Even if we had more time. If we found a way to add time to our day, would it be worth it? What would fill it? Would it be another task, another project, something more to be completed? Would we use it to sit and rest? Would we use it with purpose or throw it to the wind? Time. They say time waits for no man. The time has come. The time goes by. But yet we move the hours by seasons to trick ourselves into believe we have more of it. Time.
If you read this in a rushed and hurried tone, I thank you. If not, reread it. Add to it the angst I hope to portray. The fleeting of seconds that go by, and yet the constant yearning to grab onto more. For those that have struggled with understanding anxiety, I feel this piece is a summation of what it's like inside the head of someone battling. We attempt to wrap our minds around abstract concepts like time. We long to endure under the weight of the pressures brought on by simple items that everyone else seems to master. And each step forward we take, we question it.
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AuthorI have a lot to say about a lot of things. Archives
May 2023
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