How do you wake up in the morning? Are you a pop right upper? Maybe you lounge in the bed for thirty minutes. How about the zombie?
How do you think I wake up in the morning? . . . Okay, I'll tell you. I don't have a way. I do not wake up the same way every day. I know I know, most people vary. Life and situations. Did you have to work late? Were you out for an event? That changes things. And yes, that is true of me. But overall, I could go to bed at the same time every single day for a month. Each morning would look different. Why is that? My body has gone through some things. I have a whole gambit of sleep issues. I could probably fall asleep right now. But then again, maybe I couldn't. There are times when I am so tired, I can't get myself off the couch. As soon as I hit the bed, I am wide awake. Other times, I can plop into bed and fall asleep within ten minutes. It doesn't matter how tired I am or how much caffeine I've had (I have fallen asleep with a half drunk cup of coffee in my hands). My brain decides to sleep or wake based upon only Jesus knows what! Some nights I sleep for maybe five hours, and I am perky all day! Other times I get seven hours and it was not enough. Sometimes I get five hours and the world is ending. Usually seven hours is enough. I have neurological issues that keep my body from having consistent sleep cycles. Major bummer dude. Do you know what that really means? It means I don't know who I will be in the morning. It means my family doesn't know who is waking up. Nobody can predict how and what I will feel. There is no logic. It just is. That's really frustrating. Which then causes more emotions to rise. Why can't I be normal? Why can't I get a good night's sleep? Will this ever go away? Why is this happening to me? Sadness. Anger. Worry. This is just a morning on a random day. Life will throw other factors in. My goal is to hold it together. Keep myself from looking and acting like I can't get a good night's sleep. Not acting frustrated. Not being short tempered. Not feeling like my day is wasted and it isn't even 8:00. We factor in exhaustion from school, homeschool, dance competitions, work, book issues, on and on and on. But I have to appear normal. What would happen if I showed how I felt? What would people think? Would they pity me? Would they call be a jerk? Would they ignore me? Does it matter? I feel like junk most of my days. Whether it is emotional or physical crappiness, I usually am unwell. It has taught me one major thing: People don't know what I'm going through; which means maybe I don't know what they are going through either. Remember, folks, everyone is fighting a battle you don't see. Take a breath. Remember to show love.
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AuthorI have a lot to say about a lot of things. Archives
May 2023
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