In my house, I find that so often we are discussing our callings. When I was pregnant with my son, and didn't know if it was Caleb or Sophia because we wanted to be surprised, I heard God clearly say, "He will do great things." This brought me so much joy. One, because I knew from that moment on that Caleb was in my belly, and two, he already had a calling on his life.
When I was pregnant with my daughter, I got a flash of a vision. I saw a long young woman in an off white leotard with a long skirt doing some sort of jumping arabesque. Then I heard the words, "She will dance on this stage." Again, thrilled for a calling. I have found this to be such a blessing in my home. For one, I get to see my daughter truly "dancing" in her calling. She is naturally talented. People notice her. And though it sometimes sparks jealousy, she is humble. She scores well in competitions not because she wants to win, but because she is doing what she loves. She is happy to go out on that stage and dance her routine because she knows it is what she is meant to do. If she wins, she's happy. Honestly, her first competition of 2021, she didn't even realize she won. She heard her score and was pleased. It isn't about awards, it's about doing what she loves for a God that loves her. Now, my son also dances. He has also received good feedback, but it usually is more about how happy teachers are to have a male in their classes. Boys in ballet are a good thing. There are avenues for him to use his skills and talents in dance to receive a great education. He may even be able to earn college scholarships for it. For him, dance is a means. For her, dance is the end. That's where the fuzziness comes in. Sometimes my son wants to walk in my daughter's calling. He can become jealous that she wins. He can be jealous that the teachers want her and not him. He can confuse his calling - doing great things- with meaning in all things you will do great. I often have to remind him that he will in fact do great things, but that doesn't mean that what he will do great in/through/for is even in his life right now. The one thing I seem to struggle with is my own calling. I know that God has called me to write. That is the only reason why I continue to submit manuscripts and write on a daily basis. For as many times as I may get jealous of someone who has done more with less work, I hear God tell me, "It's not your time. Wait." Let me tell you, that sucks. But along the way, I'm continuing to grow both in my writing and other areas of my life. This growth will eventually show itself in my writing as life has done so already. As much as I want to say, "Forget it all! It's my turn!" I know that it is not. My turn is on hold. My life calling may be to tour the country doing book readings and whatnot (a girl can dream), but for this time in my life, I am called to be "Teacher Mom." I need to create a well-balanced home and a thriving school for my children. I need to support my son's calling of greatness and my daughter's calling of dancing - even if it means the constant dancing through the house and useless (to me) knowledge that will lead to many degrees. Maybe you see yourself in one of these roles. You know your calling, but you aren't there yet. Follow the voice of God and you'll get there. Perhaps you don't know your calling yet. Pray. Pray every day. Pray every hour. When your passions, desires, skills, and focus lead you to the same place everyday and God shows you (even if you don't believe it) this is it, then you have found your calling. Trust me, I ran from the idea of being an author for many years. I thought I had to be a coach. I thought I had to be a winning coach. I thought I had to make it big. That's why God brought me low. Now I sit at my dining room table and write every word I can while making sure my children are learning and growing. I have to pay my dues. You might too. But follow the calling. Follow God's voice.
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May 2023
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