I'd like to present a story to you. This is a true story.
Many years before I met Charlie (my husband) he decided to take a trip from college to his mother's home. The trip is less than two hours from Charleston to Savannah. Where he left from, he was able to take scenic route 17 through South Carolina. I have driven this route multiple times myself, and I can say that it is a fairly quiet drive, especially at night. During this particular trip, he was pulled over. Those of you that know Charlie, go ahead and get a visual of him in your mind. Is he in his work clothes? Maybe he's wearing his children's church worker shirt? If you don't know him, you might want to know that he is in education. He spent over a decade in the classroom and is now continuing as an administrator. Okay, hopefully you all have a visual. This man, on his path to educating today's youth, was pulled over on the way to his mother's house. There was no other car ahead of him for quite a ways. Yet, he was pulled over for "following too closely." Hmm.... We'll continue. The officer asked him to step out of the car. He also asked if he could search the car. Charlie had nothing to worry about, so he stood on the side of the road, with his dog, while another police car pulled in behind to assist in the search. They found nothing. Obviously. They explained that since 9-11, they were taking more precautions. So why Charlie? Let me say this. I support police officers. This story is in no way a "we must ban/de-fund" the police. The civil servants of our country do great things for our society. This post is about all of us, and our predisposition and biases. Are you confused yet? Good. When Charlie was pulled over, he wasn't the clean cut, tie wearing, children's church worker that he is today. (You're welcome.) When he was pulled over, he was dressed in his typical college attire. Shaggy hair, baggy pants, I don't even know how to describe it. Basically, from the pictures I've seen, he was a cross between a pot head (who didn't smoke pot) and a metal head (probably more of this with a tad of the non-pot smoking pot head vibe). Bottom line, he looked suspicious. We all have looked at someone and made a judgment. We don't always mean to, but we do. We see someone and think they're stuck up. We see someone and think that they must just be an angry person. Or maybe we think someone is sketchy. There are countless judgments that we make without even realizing it. But we don't know the ramifications that each judgment makes. When we say something snippy in front of our children, we teach them that judgment. Then they hold on to it, and eventually, those words come out of their mouths. Perhaps those words come out in front of friends. They spread. They ooze. In the moment, we don't see the harm. In the moment a thought flutters across our minds. We need to capture those thoughts. We need to see the validity within the words. We need to stop the progression of our biases. These thoughts didn't come into our hearts and minds overnight. We didn't wake up thinking these thoughts. They began as a seed. They were watered. They were given room to grow. Which means that when we battle these words, it will take time. We will chop down the tree. We need to take out the roots. We need to burn the stump. We must remove it all. If we leave one bit of it, roots will grow again. We can't live our lives believing that we are innocent and fully free from negative thoughts. We have each made comments and judgments that were unnecessary. Denying them won't change us. We must uproot them.
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AuthorI have a lot to say about a lot of things. Archives
May 2023
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