Anyone that knows me and read the title just asked themselves, "Which one?"
But seriously, I find myself in a situation that happens all too often. A situation of over commitment. I was scrolling through Facebook and saw someone in our neighborhood was looking for a sitter. They have a toddler and will need the sitter to put the child to bed while the couple enjoys a much needed date night. My immediate thought was, "Oh that's some easy money. I could go to their place, put the kid in bed, and get some work done. No problem. Wonder what the pay is?" For many, that conversation might be normal. A little extra spending cash is a good thing. And where we are in our finances, well, we aren't as bad as we used to be, but we aren't where I wish we could be. So in my Dave Ramsey following, going and and getting some extra money is great. So what did I do? I kept scrolling. You see, it wasn't more than hours ago that I sat on the side of my bed and explained to my husband how drained I am. I was fully dressed and ready to start my morning walk and workout. And yet, I didn't want to leave the bed, let alone the house. I'm overwhelmed by my depression, anxiety, and workload. And here I am trying to add something else to the list! Wow. Now, there have been plenty of times in my life that I needed to take the job so the stress of money would lower and I could have more peace and rest. But we aren't in that stage of life anymore. If I need an extra $50 I'll cut out something from our budget that isn't needed. Simple. But working an extra Saturday night for a family I don't even know just to make some cash, not the answer. I am trying to find my balance. You know, the balance between staying in bed to sleep/cry/eat ice cream/binge-watch anything and being a productive human in society. Sometimes that scale does not like to balance. Sometimes it needs a little shove. I know that eventually things will work out. I know my college classes won't be that bad. I'm just anxious because it's dance competition season. And that means I'll be in class in hotels. I'll be doing work from convention centers. I'll be doubly busy and that scares me. I want to be a good mom during that time. I want to be present. I want to join the other moms if it comes up. And I want to be successful in class. All these little things worry me and yet all I need to do is manage my time well. I need to show up online to the classes that are in person. I need to do the work and turn it in. Every assignment I had last semester was turned in the same day it was opened. And yet, I worry. Silly girl. But the truth is, even though I know it will work out that doesn't mean I need to add more to my plate. Thankfully, I kept scrolling this time. Hopefully I will continue the habit.
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AuthorI have a lot to say about a lot of things. Archives
May 2023
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