Let me begin by saying this title is exclusively so that you have it stuck in your head all day as well.
Being a mom in 2010's and beyond is far different than any other time. Why? Social media and smart phones. I have seen countless memes and posts on Facebook and Instagram on the life of a mom. Often times things are humorous. Sometimes things are sad. Posts range from judgmental to uplifting. It's an odd time to be a mom. Dirty laundry is aired on feeds, and sometimes that's literally a picture from a friend. Social media was driven by the concept of connecting with others through our favorite screens. I grew into this idea of being able to keep in touch with people. As a young woman 14 hours away from home I was all about it. MySpace created a world where we could learn more about where everyone is and what they're doing. I enjoyed it. I found friends from high school, and new friends in college found me. As we have built our walls of friendship in the online domain, the parameters have shifted. Social media has become a place of venting frustrations, voicing opinions, sharing victories, and sharing products. This has created a world where the stay at home mamas are not alone! I look back to my early childhood and think about where my mother had a chance to vent about us kids. There were limited options - grandparents, Bible studies/church, scheduled dinners with friends, and waiting at the school to drop off and pick up her rugrats. Eventually, she would have the time to get out with friends and shop or sip coffee in a living room, but her friends typically were not ones that were in the same position as she was. Either one child had a school mate their age, and the parent had one older than my brother or younger than myself. Or sometimes the friends were working. For other stay at home moms, their husbands worked office jobs with salaries, not the work for yourself and hope they pay you on time, like my father. The differences created some struggles within friendships at times, but at least she had friends. Today, moms put their business out there. Readers are either judgy and rude or in total agreement. Mothers typically either know that they aren't getting comments because people don't agree or because they know the situation, but don't want to admit it. It becomes a world of knowing only what others want us to see. The older generations only had this when it was in person. The child having a meltdown would be dealt with in person and the viewers would praise or condemn in person. This is where mothers learn to low talk and put the fear of God in their children with only whispers. But even this shows that we are different people when other people can see us than when we are home with the children and can say what we want, scream, cry, or dare I say it, spank. I was once told that character is who you are when no one else is around to see. Those words were etched on my heart in college when my accountability was myself and God. I see it now in parenting - with myself and others- as we put up the front to present to the world the person that has it all together while we secretly cry in our closet with the Keebler Elf cookies that we hide from the people making us cry. Those walls are slowly coming down with the help of social media. I recently read a post from a young mom (both she and the child are young) that spoke of the struggles of being a stay at home mom. The first person to comment on her post was her step mother. She said how her generation didn't get the chance to express their emotions like her step daughter's could. She wished that she would have known that others felt the same exhaustion, fear, shame, hurt, and countless other issues stated. This mama believed that she was alone in how she felt and it burdened her. Who knows what type of mother she would be if she had known she wasn't alone. She doubted who she was because she felt alone. Who are you when it's just you? Who are you in your home, alone with children or your spouse? Are you a different person than the one that shows up at family events? In today's world it is becoming more available to be the person that social media shows to the world. Perhaps I should say, it is becoming more available to show the world the person you actually are. Being a mother makes you take a hard look at who you are and who you want your children to see you as. I hope that we are the people we want to be, and if we aren't, I hope we're taking steps to becoming the people we want to be.
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AuthorI have a lot to say about a lot of things. Archives
May 2023
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